NEW WAVE OF THE BRITISH FANTASTIC FILM 2022 #6: Reviews of Amityville Hex (UK 2022), Hounded (UK 2022), The Area 51 Incident (UK 2022), The Beast of Bodmin Moor (UK 2022), Killahurtz (UK 2022) and Reign of Chaos (UK 2022)

Amityville Hex (UK 2021: Dir Tony Newton) "I ask the dead, I call upon thee, let the Amityville Hex consume me; I offer you my soul, please take, Amityville Hex consume me now, make no mistake. I call out the number 666 three times and do so now; 666; 666; 666! May this hex take over me." 

This is the text of a viral curse, a 'creepypasta' that has been taking over the world wide web. The guy to blame seems to be 'Coolduder' (Shawn C Phillips), a perky vlogger who encourages a group of friends to recite the curse via a Zoom call; big mistake. Each of the people on the call and other social media personalities who follow in their footsteps are gradually taken over by the 'Amityville Hex' and go seriously off the rails, leading them to take their own lives, the lives of others or, in one case, die by getting run over by a possessed lawnmower, in successive scenes of cut price gore.

Director Newton appears as one of the haunted vloggers, and who unfortunately seems to have a problem pronouncing the word 'Amityville' correctly. Oh and sidebar; apart from the word, there's nothing to connect this film to the 'Amityville' franchise except from a brief reference via a fake news item (the newsreader being Ouijageist's John R. Walker). Probably the most surprising thing here is Phillips's performance; the normally perky gracer of many a low budget horror flick here presents a different side of himself, ever present baseball cap removed to show thinning hair, his topless rants about horror fans and the niche in which he's become stuck rather unnerving. 

Hounded aka Haunted (UK 2022: Dir Tommy Boulding) Four young people based in London - Leon (Nobuse Junior), his brother, college student Chaz (Malachi Pullar-Latchman), Vix (Hannah Traylen) and immigrant worker Tod (Ross Coles) - are looking to break out of their urban existence by making some money. Courtesy of a bent antiques dealer, the four land tipoffs as to where the posh keep their valuables, break in to their houses and liberate the goods, in return for some hard cash.

The four land their biggest challenge to date; purloin an antique dagger from a huge country pile whose occupants are out for the evening. But their plans go seriously awry when they are caught in the act by the owners, old money rural stock, including Katherine (Samantha Bond), her brother Hugo (James Lance) and old retainer Mallory (Nick Moran) who decide that the London guttersnipes should be hunted down like foxes; but they haven't reckoned on the resourceful foursome.

Boulding's debut rather unsubtly exposes the contrasts between the 'haves' and the 'have nots but are happy to help themselves', but does well to recover the audience's initial antipathy towards a bunch of thieving urchins by having the rich being far more objectionable. Some of the class war lines land better than others, like Vix's "There are more guns on my estate than yours" and "The aristocracy; they fear what they don't understand." But the movie retains a good pace despite its slender elements; at its heart it's a modern rework of The Most Dangerous Game (1932) but an entertaining one nonetheless.

The Area 51 Incident (UK 2022: Dir Rhys Frake-Waterfield) Two young graduate students, hard working Jenny (Megan Purvis) and son of someone in charge Trent (Scott Jeffrey, the movie's producer, taking a rare casting credit using his 'technical' rather than 'acting' name of Scott Chambers) are given a tour round the Area 51 facility courtesy of Trent's dad. Now you and I know that this historic site is located in part of Nevada, USA, so quite what a car with a British license plate is doing there is a puzzle (he wrote, a little sarcastically).

The boffins at the facility have discovered a wormhole connecting to the planet Keppler B, 640 light-years from earth; sensors sent into the portal have largely disappeared, but one has made contact. And now the occupants of the distant world have decided to visit. 

It doesn't take long before all of this exposition is jettisoned to make way for some CGI monsters stalking the cast in a bunker (somewhere in Wales I believe), a cast which now includes two women, previously seen pickpocketing soldiers in the facility's bar (Sian Altman and Heather Jackson, both Chambers/Jeffrey regulars) and some gung ho soldiers. The corridor running is largely kept to a minimum and there's an interesting side story in that the creatures are able to possess the dead, bringing them back to life to do their bidding (scenes which are the movie's most effective sequences).

The Scott Jeffrey house of monsters is getting more impressive in terms of overall production values, but the overall problem of getting everyone into a single (small) location and then having them strategise their way out while crying and shouting is getting a little tired; these films aren't tongue in cheek - the cast take it all very seriously - but in contrast while the CGI seems to be evolving past the 1990s PC game quality  - including an impressive last reel lightshow - the limitations of the budget still show.

The Beast of Bodmin Moor (UK 2022: Dir Adam Starks) The sixth (!) feature from 25 year old director Starks is an ambitious 19th century period adventure. 

Nicholas Felt (Starks) is an "author and investigator of the supernatural" who, with the assistance of ex policeman Jacob Crimsby (Joshua Copeland) has travelled to Bodmin to investigate a series of mysterious disappearances. The only clue to the mystery is the discovery of human bones, and locals believe the cause to be a mythical four footed beast.

Felt and Crimsby, who both have their own secrets, suspect that the truth is less fantastic than described, even after an encounter the seemingly helpful Beedlewood (Richard Linton) who supports the wild animal theory. But Beedlewood knows more than he's saying, and before long our investigators come face to face with the beast and a mysterious ghostly woman. What can it all mean?

TBoBM does extremely well to create a historic atmosphere - including a working steam train - and a nifty creature. Unfortunately the pace of the film is, to put it kindly, sedate, and neither Starks nor Copeland make for particularly engaging leads. The film is crisply photographed with some lovely countryside scenes, but isn't a jot scary; it's closer in tone to a 1970s BBC costume drama, but needs more script work. A valiant effort but not an entirely successful one.

Killahurtz (UK 2022: Dir Al Carretta) "How do you OD on headphones?" Pretty odd question, huh? Well when you watch Killahurtz it's probably the least odd thing in the movie.

The brainchild of Al Carretta (who pretty much does everything behind the scenes on this, including the soundtrack, and casts himself as a beat poet style DJ), this is clearly a lockdown influenced movie which makes sense if you know that it was originally planned back in 2020 under the title 'Earwigger'. The story, as far as I can make out, is that kids in the USA, in a bid to find new ways to ingest the popular drug Fentanyl, have started putting it in their headphones so that they get high when the beats release it.

Somehow a trial supply of a new type of headphones, sent to the UK and sent out to various influencers, has become infected; whether it's because they were manufactured with the COVID virus mistakenly packaged inside, or something more sinister, isn't made clear. Around this 'drama' a number of characters circulate, whose brains may already have been altered by exposure to the narcotic. 

Killahurtz received its first screening at the 2022 Edinburgh Fringe, and it's most likely in an arts setting that this film would be most effective. It looks slick but narratively it's willfully confusing, as if Carretta's aim was to unseat its audience. Well it worked; at an hour and a quarter it's still a slog to get through and its opaque approach, coupled with a rather flimsy central idea, alienates rather than absorbs.

Reign of Chaos (UK 2022: Dir Rebecca Matthews) Another from the 'all-quantity-and-sometimes-quality' team of Matthews, producer Scott Jeffrey and writer Tom Jolliffe, this bargain basement fantasy film knows its limits and doesn't take itself too seriously.

In a mumbled prologue we learn that an ancient force, Chaos (embodied here by Mark Sears), has caused the world as we know it to break down via a virus or plague, which has turned many into ravening zombies. But hope is at hand; the descendants of a race of goddesses have acted as a balance to Chaos and his minions, although their numbers have dwindled. One remains, and her name is Nicole (Rebecca Finch). 

Nicole is unaware of her powers until she meets a kind of hero wrangler, Rhodri (Peter Cosgrove) who introduces her to two toughnut fighting women, Alina (Rita Di Tuccio) and Lindsay (Georgia Wood). Rhodri puts the women through their paces, leading to the final confrontation with Chaos, which Nicole must win, to stop the world collapsing into total darkness,

Reign of Chaos was filmed on the mean London streets of Redbridge and Camden; the budget didn't provide for zombie hordes - or indeed any extras - so the places the trio of avengers walk are strangely empty. The script would suggest some kind of superhero extravaganza but with resources being tight there's a quite a lot of chat instead, interspersed between the occasional bouts of chop socky. Some light relief is provided by a pub landlord (Du’aine Samuels) and his wife, and there's an extended montage of Rocky style training scenes as the women toughen up. There's also a really good electronic score by Rachel Shuttleworth to add a gloss to the proceedings. Short and sweet, I kind of like this, and a sequel is hinted at.

NEW WAVE OF THE BRITISH FANTASTIC FILM 2021 #17: Reviews of Toy Box Killers (UK 2021), Blood House (UK 2021), Manhunt (UK 2021), Plague of the Dead (UK 2021), Afterlyfe (UK 2021) and Carnal Monsters (UK 2021)

Toy Box Killers (UK 2021: Dir Mark Denham) In Denham's debut feature we're on the mean streets of what looks like east London. Two American killers, Samantha (Elin-Margareta Nordin) and Daniel (Joshua Neil) have come to town and are embarking on a random killing spree, despatching anyone they either don't like the look of or see as easy pickings.

On their trail is Detective Sergeant Teri Logan (Sharon Hendry) with her forensic sidekick. 

Sam, who occasionally dresses up in Mexican 'day of the dead' makeup as part of their murderous rituals, befriends a couple of American girls, Monica (Emma Johannesson) and Jess (Toni Valerie). They all go out to a club, which looks like someone's living room; Sam spikes their drinks and takes them back home, with Daniel's assistance. Sam kills Jess with a hammer and they dump her body in the woods, but Monica is kept alive.

Detective Logan organises a press conference at which Monica's parents, mum and crime lord dad (Gengiz Hasim) plead for her return, with pop threatening to bring in his heavies if the police don't find his daughter quickly. But Sam and Daniel continue to evade the law, even as their own relationship undergoes its own difficulties.

Despite, or perhaps because of the rather rudimentary way in which Toy Box Killers has been put together - crudely added London stock footage, bits of slowed down action, choppy editing and terrible sound - the film attains a kind of 'fly on the wall' docudrama feel; it's too polite to be really grungy and the inexplicable, possibly tongue in cheek adoption of American accents by various members of the cast is just annoying, but there is something rather grim about the movie.

On his Film Freeway page, Denham tells us that "I'm currently writing a screenplay which I hope to pique the interest of the creators of American Horror Story with a script about a supernatural killer called Mr Piggy. I dream of a life in Hollywood."

Blood House (UK 2021: Dir Tony Manders) En route home from a school reunion, the car in which a group of ex classmates are travelling breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Ben (John Fisher), his girlfriend Sarah (Maria Hiscock), Jade (Gemma Harlow Dean) her boyfriend Josh (Richard Wilde), Harry (Matthew Hemmings) and his sort of partner Alice (Meg Owlett) make their way to a seemingly abandoned house for shelter. 

After doing a quick recce of the vacant property they are surprised to find that a cupboard, thought empty, mysteriously contains fresh bedding. This is followed by the appearance of breakfast items and later clean clothing from the same place (well, a number of white hazmat suits). One of the party, investigating another part of the house, strangely finds himself teleported back into the bedroom where they've shacked up. 

Of course we the audience know better; this is the house of a witch, one Elizabeth Blood, burned at the stake in the 17th century and who swore a curse both on her ancestors and anyone living nearby. And it's not long before the witch is back, possessing the house's occupants, leading to their grisly deaths.

Blood House runs for a bum numbing 110 minutes; it's a mix of a small cast ad libbing to each other about their predicament, punctuated with some odd bits of horror and gore (and with a 17th century prologue). Like his previous genre film Death Follows Manders's movie is hard work but not without merit, with a decent payoff and some nice witchy touches along the way. The fact that almost the whole thing is suffused with a blue filter makes it rather difficult to work out what's going on, but also imbues the piece with a weird, slightly otherworldly quality. It's not great by any means but the director's films are always interesting, provided that you adjust your expectations.

Manhunt (UK 2021: Dir Charles Solly) Solly's first feature, although clocking in at just 45 minutes, is an incredibly effective story about the revenge of a bullied student on his classmates.

Rodger Flank (Ashley Clarredge, excellent) is an overweight young man with some personal freshness issues who has a habit of going commando under his tracksuit bottoms. He's the subject of constant bullying by his fellow students, but that's not the end of his problems; at home his mother (Lauren Garner), alcoholic and confined to a wheelchair, constantly puts him down.

When Rodger receives an invitation from his classmates to an end of term 'illegal' party in a local park (the movie was filmed in lockdown, so the gathering is presumably against COVID rules) he's excited; but it's a mistake. Rodger was added to their WhatsApp group in error, and despite attempts of two of the gang to stop him and avoid further taunting, Flank flips out, rocks up to the park and starts his reign of terror. But he has a plan to deflect responsibility for his crimes.

Although this may initially come across as filmed youth theatre, Solly tells his story well, gradually uncovering Flank's plight, providing justification for his anger, if not perhaps the end result. It's also rather disturbing stuff, which surprised me; Clarredge's portrayal of the damaged youth is satisfyingly convincing.

There is a slightly sour note to this work; the cast were recruited from the National Youth Film Academy, a subscription based service established, as the name suggests, to assist young people in accessing movie roles. NYFA closed down in 2023, with some sources suggesting problems with opportunities presented to students and delays in processing course refunds. This is a shame, as most of the cast here are extremely credible (and talented) and I wish them well in the future.

Plague of the Dead (UK 2021: Dir Tony Newton) The connection between the COVID-19 pandemic and zombie outbreak has, perhaps surprisingly, not been overused by indie filmmakers. Newton's film however has no shame in conflating both. Filmed in lockdown in 2020 but not released until a year later (it came out on DVD in the US in 2022) PotD acts as a kind of 'notes from the frontline' zombie flick, comprising stand alone vignettes filmed separately then patched together by Newton.

Most of the to camera pieces emanate from the US which gives the film a distinctly non UK feel (although it does count as a British Fantastic Film, and includes a turn from the director). Split into two halves, the first section is made up of individual survivor reports; towards the end we witness those same people after zombie interaction, some bitten, others choosing to take their own life rather than face an uncertain future existence.

So yes the parallels between lockdown and staying out of the way of infected zombies are exploited to the max. "The news said to stay indoors" informs one of the talking heads, and that's just what they do. The audience doesn't get to see much zombie action (the first infected rears its ugly head 45 minutes into the film's rather trying hour and three quarters) and the gore is restricted to random (and rather rubbery) body parts, infected wounds and a zombie who feasts on its own entrails. The omnipresent Shawn C Phillips gets to do one of his meltdowns (although - spoiler alert - he makes a pretty convincing zombie without the need for much makeup) and there's a scene where a couple, getting it on, experience coitus zombicus interruptus; possibly a first. This is all quite bleak stuff and a real chore to sit through; a bit like the pandemic then.

Afterlyfe (UK 2021: Dir David A. Roberts) This 21 minute short (it's over the 20 min threshold and thus qualifies for inclusion in the BFF project) was made by the director of the very good 2023 movie Older Gods.

Andrew (Rory Wilson) wakes up in a medical facility with no knowledge of why he's there. He comes across a man, alive and mumbling, zipped up in a body suit, and is attacked by a soldier. A voice informs Andrew that he was in a car crash together with his husband, which he didn't survive. But technology, and a few random body parts, have saved the day.

Afterlyfe is a bit of a tease; it just starts getting going at the end point, after which there's a 'To Be Continued' message. But based on this I want it to continue! 

Roberts suffuses his film with a palette of shades of red, and provides his own lush score to heighten the drama onscreen. Afterlyfe is powerful and well made stuff, with a payoff which explains and anticipates. Not sure why we haven't seen the director develop this one into a feature yet.

You can watch Afterlyfe here. 

Carnal Monsters (UK 2021: Dir Joe Cash) Cash's film was released by the infamous Troma films (studio boss Lloyd Kaufman appears at the beginning, treating us to an oboe rendition of the English national anthem) and you only have to sit through the first ten of its scant 65 minutes to understand why,

Featuring a nearly all female cast, chosen principally for their willingness to appear in not much at all - or nothing -  the 'story' revolves around a scientist, Dr Dilf (Ian Sen) who dies after creating a gas which prevents death, only for his killer acolytes to chase down a group of women who just seem to want a bit of R&R. Oh and it's set on the outskirts of Tromaville. And there are no monsters. There is some monstrous acting, if that counts?

I understand that this was, at one point, the most streamed Troma movie ever. I can't help feeling that, for most people paying to see this, they would feel rather sort changed; and talking of short change this was apparently made for about £500 (some of which must have comprised payments for cameo artistes like Stan Lee and the original 'Jason Vorhees', Ari Lehman).

Things get slightly more exciting towards the end with the goryish despatch of the two killers, but overall this is pretty awful, although I was too old for Troma films in their heyday so I'm probably way off the target audience age for this one. The film was re-released in Italy a year later under the title Le Vendicatrici Tossiche ('The Toxic Avenger' to you).

Shaken and Stirred: Bond, John Barry and the BFI

Some of you may have noticed that the BFI are programming a series of James Bond films in February. Correction; it's a season of movies scored by John Barry, which includes some of his Bond movies. Of which more later.

The organisation have caused some feather ruffling by providing a disclaimer for the whole season (comprising ten very varied movies, all from the 1960s) which states that "...many of these films contain language, images or other content that reflect views prevalent in its time, but will cause offence today (as they did then). The titles are included here for historical, cultural or aesthetic reasons and these views are in no way endorsed by the BFI or its partners" (my italics).

I'll leave that there and turn instead to another season, taking place in January, around the new documentary Scala!!! Or, the Incredibly Strange Rise and Fall of the World's Wildest Cinema and How It Influenced a Mixed-up Generation of Weirdos and Misfits; a film about the legendary and much missed independent Scala cinema in King's Cross (and you can read my review of the doc here). The BFI was one of the funders of the film and also secured distribution rights; this has been celebrated by a number of screenings of the doc in the first month of the new year, together with some Scala 'friendly' related programming, with screenings of movies including Basket Case (1982), Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965), The Evil Dead (1981) and Thundercrack! (1975)

So the BFI, who have backed the documentary and embraced the screening principles of the Scala in its choice of accompanying programming, find themselves in a bit of a dilemma. Because many of the films to be screened were somewhat shocking - and in the case of Thundercrack! notorious - in their day, the BFI is required to issue audience warnings in terms of content. I'm not going to debate the principles of warning audiences (I understand why it is done and its usefulness for audiences is underlined by research), but the irony that the BFI should do this while at the same time celebrating a cinema that prided itself on 'out there' programming is not lost on me. 

But what they haven't done is distanced themselves from the season itself.

Which takes us back to the John Barry movies. Like those programmed in the January Scala season the February programme carries trigger warnings for some of the season's films; for example Richard Lester's Petulia (1968) informs audiences that the film contains '...scenes of domestic violence', and You Only Live Twice (1967) '...outdated racial stereotypes'. 

So far so good. But just read that disclaimer reproduced above in the second paragraph again; we're in rather different territory here. The BFI has felt it necessary to offer up an additional disclaimer to the trigger warnings, which goes beyond the comments appended to some of the films in the season. My first italicised word, 'will', is an emphatic update to the more commonly deployed 'may' in a sentence like this. The (paying) audiences viewing these films will be offended, it more than suggests. And further adds 'as they did then'. Based on what precisely? Stentorian contemporaneous reviews in the 'Monthly Film Bulletin'? 

To remove doubt further, the BFI then goes on to explain that these titles are only included in the programme - ie shown at all - for 'historic, cultural or aesthetic reasons'. They cannot in any way be considered as worthwhile, enjoyable or of any artistic merit because they are riddled with outdated attitudes and references which have soured them not only for new audiences but any audiences. So what does that mean for people who list Midnight Cowboy (1969), Goldfinger (1964) or Bryan Forbes's The Whisperers (1967) among their favourite films (also included in the Barry season)? Does that mean they are no longer welcome at the BFI?

Turning to the Scala season, this contains films from roughly the same period that include scenes of, for example, a woman being sexually assaulted by a tree, a character eating dog shit off the pavement, bestiality, forced home entry and rape, and explicit sex. Will audiences be offended by these films? Arguably yes; in most cases this was the intention of the filmmakers. So if a film sets out to - and thus may - offend it receives a different BFI reception to one which - according to the programmers - will cause offence because the times in which it was filmed have rubbed off on the movies' themes and content.

To return to my first comment; this is not a James Bond season; it's a John Barry one. The BFI's relationship with Bond films - particularly the 'less rounded' (their words) early filmic incarnations of the agent - has always been rather tricky. So one could argue that hiding a few Bond movies under the cover of a season about their composer, John Barry, is rather handy. But just to apply a 'belt and braces' distancing approach to screening them, not only does the BFI apply individual trigger warnings, but there's an overall disclaimer that they're unreconstructed rubbish which no-one in their right minds would ever watch as 'entertainment'.

In a recent statement provided to The Guardian, who covered the same subject, the BFI stated: "Whilst we have a responsibility to preserve films as close to their contemporaneous accuracy as possible, even where they contain language or depiction which we categorically reject, we also have a responsibility in how we present them to our audiences. The trigger warnings/content warnings that we provide in all of our exhibition spaces and online platforms act as guidance that a film or work reflects views of the time in which they were made and which may cause offence". Where then does that leave the subscription based BFI in their wholesale rejection of a group of films?

NEW WAVE OF THE BRITISH FANTASTIC FILM 2023 #4: Reviews of Alien Invasion (UK 2023), Punch (UK 2023), Crannog Bay (UK 2023), Artifacts of Fear (UK 2023), It Be an Evil Moon (UK 2023) and Casting Kill (UK 2023)

Alien Invasion (UK 2023: Dir Fred Searle) Another from the prolific - and then some - producers Scott Jeffrey and Rebecca Matthews, the pair offer up some sci fi this time round; however do not let the stargate opening and the words 'Lacerta - 102 light years from Earth' seduce you into thinking that you're about to watch a space opera.

The rest of Alien Invasion is resolutely earthbound: East Sussex to be precise. A group of young 'uns - ex military type and PTSD sufferer Phoenix (Benjamin Colbourne), Ursa (May Kelly), Carina (Leah Glater), bible quoting Norma (Amber Doig-Thorne) and her boyfriend Leo (Nikolai Leon) - are throwing a surprise party to cheer up Lyra (Sarah T. Cohen), a nurse, who now lives alone following the death of her parents. Next door to where they're hanging out is a very large, and heavily secured house owned by a doctor - of what, Lyra isn't sure.

Curious Phoenix manages to get round the security and break into the seemingly empty neighbour's mansion. Lyra and friends follow his lead; when inside they discover a room heated to a precise temperature, a load of lab equipment and a curious egg shaped object. The unexpected return of the doctor gives rise to the most awkwardly delivered exposition I've ever heard - where doc tells the egg (and the audience) of the object's extra terrestrial origins, and his own decision to steal it away from the authorities to a place of safety. Of course it isn't; the egg 'hatches' and the creature inside, unimaginatively named Lacerta after the planet from which it originates - which quickly grows to monstrous proportions - is free to kill. Luckily, Norma's dad (Matthew Baunsgard) - a boxer turned priest - has a church just down the road, so the group set off to take refuge for a final showdown with the beast.

Searle has a good track record - first AD on recent rather good movies Punch (reviewed below) and Midnight Peepshow - and he brings some finesse to this low on budget, high on aspiration creature feature. Lacerta is a mix of guy in a pretty nifty costume (Bao Tieu, who's kind of cornering the market in this sort of casting) and some patchy CGI that can't quite decide how big the thing is. Nods to the 'Alien' franchise abound - lots of flashing lights and "get away from her you bitch!" lines - but this feels more like a modern update of William Malone's 1980 flick Scared to Death, with Lacerta taking all its moves from that flick's 'Syngenor' creature.

Punch (UK 2023: Dir Andy Edwards) Unlike most of her friends and family, Frankie (Alina Allison) has managed to escape the dullness of her Hastings home by going to University. So when she comes back to the town to visit, things are difficult with a resentful mother, who has just taken up with a new man, and friends who think she’s got too big for her boots.

Only close friend Holly (Faye Campbell) remains loyal to her, as does her on off boyfriend Daryl aka ‘Dazzler’ (Macaulay Cooper). Both encourage Frankie to let her hair down for one night before leaving to resume her studies; but while she pursues a night of hedonism, a strange figure wearing a Punch mask, a creature descended from local legend, stalks and kills the fun loving denizens of the town.

Andy Edwards, who previously collaborated on 2022’s Midnight Peepshow, to some extent follows the well-trodden narrative arc of many a Brit low-budget horror: soapy domestic intrigue to establish the characters; some mid movie carnage; and a final girl who spends the last third of the film trying to outwit a murderer. 

But within this tried and tested formula Edwards is doing something rather different. Firstly there’s a fabulous sense of seaside ennui established by shots of closed entertainment, gaudy pubs and arcades, and the supporting cast of youths who effectively summarise the boredom of living in a largely employment-free area, where anyone seeking to better themselves is seen as ‘other’. As Frankie Allison is very effective as a young woman caught between the worlds of her past, containing the friendships that she has clearly missed, and a possible future.

The Punch character himself is pretty eerie, sporting a squeaky voice, uttering a series of sotto voce one-liners like a more embarrassed Freddy Kreuger. In some ways, Punch acts as a kind of animated spirit of the violence that lies vaguely hidden beneath the surface of the town, which is underlined in the film’s rather unexpected ‘twist’ ending.

The end credits announce that Mr. Punch will return, and I for one would be interested to see how Edwards develops his themes in future movies. That is, indeed, the way to do it then.

(a version of this review originally appeared on the Bloody Flicks site)

Crannog Bay (UK 2023: Dir Doug Kyle) I wrote a longish piece on Kyle in the third issue of my short lived 'Dark Eyes of London' hard copy fanzine, in which he mentioned that he was just finishing Crannog Bay, a continuation of themes of bringing Scottish island folklore to life.

While Crannog Bay as a location is fictitious, one of the great things about Kyle's short films is their sense of location. For this one (filmed in 2021 but not released until 2023) he deploys some very effective drone photography which perfectly captures the beautiful - and threatening - terrain.

Mixing song, Celtic folklore and, yes, monsters, Crannog Bay is the story of Chris (Josh Currie), a native of the area taken away at a young age by parents keen to help him overcome recurrent nightmares about attacking mer-men. Now an adult, Chris has been drawn back to the Bay, the nightmares having returned. He tries to make sense of what's going on, first by attending meetings of the 'True Believers' support group, and then, courtesy of group member Russel (Doug's brother Andrew, like many in the cast a regular in Doug's films) and a psychic (Jane Fullerton). But try as he might to rationalise what's happening to him, Chris is being steered inexorably towards the denizens of the Bay and his own fate.

Although only running for about 40 minutes, Crannog Bay manages to combine creature feature, local drama and rumination about what it means to be, as one character puts it, "a true local." Chris feels the pull of his birthplace but also the awkwardness of someone returning home after a long spell away. The 'true locals' in this case have made peace with the occupants of the sea (a very 70s Doctor Who creation, put together as usual by Kyle and Claire Martin - see his other films for more of this sort of thing), turning a blind eye to the islanders who regularly go missing. I love Kyle's films; you can keep your faux 'folk horror', this is the real deal.

You can watch Crannog Bay here.

Artifacts of Fear (UK 2023: Dir Rusty Apper) This is Apper's first real feature, although the director has turned his hand to most behind the scenes functions in his movie career. It's therefore perhaps unsurprising that he wrote, edited, scored and directed AoF, and refreshing to report that it's actually pretty bloody good.

AoF is a portmanteau movie, which lets each of its three stories - and indeed its wraparound section - breathe rather than, as is more usual with these things, simply rushing to the next bit for fear of boring the audience. This would explain the movie's near two hour running time, but don't let that put you off; Apper knows what he's doing.

Alex (Luke Morgan) and Nathan (Cameron Patmore) are two lads on a mission; they've been tasked with finding something with a bit of 'wow' factor for a Halloween party, and have been tipped off that there's a curio shop nearby where they might pick up just what they need.

Run by proprietor Jack Korminski (Laurence R Harvey in a role which embraces the oddball shopkeepers from the heyday of the 'portmanteau' film) the boys are shown into the basement, where the piece de resistance is a strange, talking radio contraption - Tales from the Haunted Radio - which, for the cost of a ticket, will narrate tales of terror.

In the first, Apper's homage to the giallo movie, a police woman (Isabella Moore Richardson) investigating video evidence relating to a string of disappearances finds herself at the mercy of a masked killer; in the second the screaming skull of a convicted witch is passed through the generations until it comes to the attention of Rick (Nathan Head), an enthusiast who's not quite what he seems; and in the last Mike (Mark Porter), one of two brothers dealing with the estate of their recently deceased father, realises that dad was a Satanist whose beliefs may have the power to reach from beyond the grave.

One of the standout elements of AoF is the quality of the performances. No-one overacts or treats the short film format lightheartedly, and as the shopkeeper holding the wraparound story together Harvey gets the balance of quirk and sinister just right. Apper's film is both a love letter to the late 20th century portmanteau films of Amicus and a great movie in its own right. Tightly budgeted for sure, but Apper's control of all the elements (including an impressive score) allows for some serious wigout moments, Crowleyesque touches and even historical 'back in time' scenes that makes you think you're watching something considerably better resourced than it actually was. Superb.

It Be an Evil Moon (UK 2023: Dir Ben Etchells) Poor Freddy Campbell (Ian Ray-White). Sacked from his job as a scientist, he now lives at home in Scotland with his demanding mother Gladice (Sue Moore) and, when he's not catering to her needs, divides his time between taxi driving services for ungrateful customers and manufacturing street drugs to be sold by equally ungrateful local gangs.

Dabbling in his home laboratory, Freddy prepares a serum to prevent hair loss, incorporating wolfbane (as you do). He tests it on Henry, his pet guinea pig, with positive results, then decides to spike mum's morning tea, possibly to bump her off (which it doesn't) before finally experimenting on himself. The serum is successful - too successful, turning him into a hairy werewolf, giving him enough strength to get even with the gang members but forcing him to flee to the Highlands when the drug kingpin comes after him.

122 years ago the Scottish filmmaker James Williamson created a comedy short called The Marvellous Hair Restorer which warned of the dangers of overapplying the product, there's something rather sweet about first time director Etchells using the same subject matter for his debut feature. Described as a comedy horror, IBaEM isn't really either (well a wig on a guinea pig provoked mirth), but acts more as a rather dark, but ultimately redemptive allegory about the outsider and the state of society; I was reminded of those dramatisations of Alan Bennett's writings that were on TV a few years back, where the author learned to live with his awkwardness (although I don't recall Bennett ever having to comb his face).

Ray-White is excellent in this, but he's ably supported by some fine supporting work from Sue Moore and Rod Glenn in two 'bastard' roles, one horrendous and the other even worse. If you approach this as a werewolf flick you'll probably be disappointed; as social drama it's really rather ace.

Casting Kill (UK 2023: Dir James Smith) I really liked Smith's 2021 film Surveilled. He and his writing/producing partner Caroline Spence make a great team.

This time round they're turning their hands to all things giallo. Arthur Capstone (Rob Laird, looking a little like Chris Morris's sleazy boss in The IT Crowd) is a top US casting director; he's brash, he knows what he wants, and he's carrying out auditions for his latest project.

But, as Casting Kill progresses, we soon find that there is another side to Capstone. He's a ruthless psychopath, who probably isn't actually who he says he is, and uses the audition process to bump off his potential stars and keep their bodies hanging around for company.

But when he offs one young auditionee, he's made the wrong choice; the following day her boyfriend Domenic (Jack Forsyth-Noble) turns up looking for her. Sensing something a bit weird, he teams up with Ruby (Rachel Chima), another aspiring actress, and together they lift the lid on Mr Capstone's, er, business practices.

As with Surveilled, Casting Kill is superbly edited, with a lush score to add to the cinematic sleight of hand that would lead you to believe you're watching something with a bigger budget than is the case. Casting Kill also, rather cheekily, only has a couple of locations - the casting offices and the stairwell outside them - but is photographed in such a way to distract from these limitations. The murderous auditions director story is a theme straight out of Soavi or Argento, and is served by a cast that convince, particularly Laird, and there's a great sotto voce turn from filmmaker Andrew Elias (whose Tales from the Great War was a 2023 highlight) as the facility's caretaker. This is excellent work, as ever, from Smith and Spence, two largely unsung but very talented people.

The Silent Night, Deadly Night Franchise - Naughty or Nice?

I love seasonal horror films, particularly those set at Christmas. Ever since, as an 11 year old, I saw Joan Collins being menaced by Oliver MacGreevy (as an escaped lunatic in a Father Christmas outfit) on TV - in the 'And All Through the House' segment of Freddie Francis's 1972 movie Tales from the Crypt -  I've had a soft spot for darker cinematic holiday offerings.

In the same year - 1984 - that English actor Edmund Purdom unleashed his sole directorial offering, the splendid, grubby Don't Open Till Christmas, to a generally indifferent UK public, over on the other side of the pond a Santa slasher that caused more of a rumpus was hitting cinemas, attracting big audiences, and courting some controversy. Here's a look at all five movies in this increasingly bonkers 'franchise'.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (USA 1984: Dir Charles E. Sellier Jr) The genesis of the film was a script which fell into the hands of producer Scott Schneid; written by Paul Caimi, 'He Sees You When You're Sleeping' saw a killer jn a Santa Claus outfit on the loose in a small town. This was the heyday of the slasher movie and Schneid saw some potential. Dennis Whitehead, co-producer, thought the script was pretty bad but that a Santa killer idea could be developed. Dennis knew Michael Hickey, a Stanley Kubrick obsessed screenwriter who knew nothing about slasher movies but who nevertheless took the work, writing a screenplay under the name 'Slayride' (which subsequently couldn't be used because other projects of the same title were in the pipeline at the time). Hickey's advantage in not being intimate with the genre - and one of the strengths of the first SN, DN - was the creation of an extensive backstory for the Santa killer, Billy.

Billy is a character who is, in his early years - to quote Shakespeare - "more sinned against than sinning". As a child he witnesses the rape and murder of his mother and the death of his father following a roadside holdup; the family stop to help a stranded guy in a Santa Claus outfit who promptly pulls a gun on them. The only survivors of the attack are Billy and his baby brother Ricky. As if that trauma isn't bad enough, the family have just travelled back from visiting Billy's grandfather (Will Hare): G-dad is seemingly comatose and confined to a wheelchair, but when he's alone with the young boy he suddenly springs to life and delivers a fabulous (and Tarantino endorsed) monologue concluding with the devastating outburst that "Christmas Eve is the scariest damn night of the year!"

Protesters at an early SN, DN screening

Billy (and Ricky - of which much more later) is farmed out to an orphanage run by a fierce Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin). While there he's subject to more ill treatment which builds on his trauma and cements his conflation of being naughty (via voyeurism) with direct punishment. 

As an 18 year old, a now strapping Billy, played by Robert Brian Wilson, is released from the 'care' of the nuns, landing himself a job in a department store, which is preparing for Christmas. After store closure the booze comes out and the workers get a bit frisky. Billy, ill advisedly kitted out in a Santa Claus outfit,  becomes triggered by the sight of one worker coming on to a female assistant, sees red (literally) and starts his reign of terror and revenge, declaring his victims to be "naughty"; his trail of death takes in a youthful Linnea Quigley, who ends up impaled on the antlers of a mounted deer's head. His killing spree culminates in a trip back to the orphanage and a face off with the evil Mother. After his death, shot by the police, the camera travels to little Ricky, who has witnessed everything, and whose utterance of the word 'Naughty' suggests a likely sequel to the murder and mayhem.

On a budget of about $750,000 this is a slasher movie made by a first time feature director who didn't really like the genre and whose previous production CV included a wealth of family friendly fare, including 1981's The Boogens. Therefore it's perhaps surprising that SN, DN is such a nasty film, full of mean characters, sleazy gore and the ultimate no no, a killer Santa Claus. What's equally unusual, for a slasher movie anyway, is the time taken to establish both the character and reason for the psychosis; Billy is seen at three different ages; a little boy of 5 (Jonathan Best), a youth of 8 (Danny Wagner), and his late teenage incarnation.

This was Wilson's first role; he wasn't thinking of being an actor until someone noticed him in a restaurant. Apparently at audition the actor impressed because he didn't portray the role as a crazed killer, but instead played him as a vulnerable and confused young adult. And this is one of the great aspects of the movie; Billy wants to be good, despite being exposed to events which confuse concepts of good and evil within his psyche.

But whatever the intentions of the filmmakers (presumably to make a throwaway drive in movie which would make a reasonable profit for all involved) things took an odd turn when, shortly after the release of the film, the protests started. A group calling themselves Mothers Against Movie Madness took issue with the corruption of Santa Claus, protesting with placards containing slogans like 'Santa Ain't No Hit Man!'; their cause was taken up by others who, like the MAMM members, probably hadn't seen the movie, but were riled up by promoters running the movie's trailer during daytime TV. The result: two weeks after opening the film was pulled from cinemas (another story runs that Coca Cola, who owned Columbia, who in turn owned the movie's distributors Tri-Star, didn't like the approach to Santa, a character closely associated with their product, and asked for it to be removed from distribution).

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (USA 1987: Dir Lee Harry) The early removal of SN, DN from cinemas presented the production companies with a problem; it had a very lucrative first two weeks (apparently it grossed more than A Nightmare on Elm Street which opened on the same weekend). So a couple of years later the suggestion was made to revisit the film, now that the fuss had died down, and recut it, possibly in a different order, retitled, with new music...and a different director. The producer behind this genius idea was Lawrence Applebaum.

According to Sellier Jr he was approached to do the sequel but, perhaps unsurprisingly, turned it down. There was very little money available for the project, so the person chosen to direct was the little known Lee Harry, who had previously worked with Applebaum rescuing one of the producer's previous offerings.

Harry's brief meant that he was obliged to recut and tighten up the original movie; this resulted in over 40 minutes of SN, DNP2 comprising footage from the first film. The sequel's director was also not a fan of slasher movies (but the regular wage was an attraction); so after editing, when he realised that he needed another 45 minutes of footage to turn the project into a proper feature, he developed the character of Billy's younger brother Ricky into a killer with a similar MO to his bro. Harry also sought to lighten the mood of the sequel, feeling that the original was too mean; this results in a movie of two halves, interwoven rather strangely. It's a hoot.

When we first meet Ricky as a grown up (Eric Freeman) he's in a long stay hospital, being interviewed by a psychiatrist (James Newman) who encourages Ricky to recount his story. This is the cue to re-run the digest version of SN, DN with a couple of new scenes added to establish Ricky's presence in the story. If this footage is meant to represent Billy's brother's recollections, it fails in that half the footage depicts events that Ricky could not have known about. 

After his eventual discharge from the orphanage a 10 year old Billy (Brian Michael Henley) is housed with a Jewish household; a safety move as they don't celebrate Christmas. But he's a problem kid alright, and the sight of nuns - and the colour red - is still triggering for him. 

Some years later Ricky, now 15 (Darrel Guilbeau), mourning the death of his stepfather, spies a couple getting fresh in the middle of a field. The woman however is not keen to put out, which upsets the guy who turns nasty; the scene is witnessed by Ricky who has a flashback to the killing of his own mother (remember in the first film Ricky was only a few months old and would not have been able to remember this trauma) and the switch is activated; Ricky, like his brother - singling out his victims and sealing their fate with the word "Naughty!" - mows the guy down in his own car (the grateful woman thanks him for this!) and then, after liberating a gun from a cop, proceeds to walk to the nearest town and embark on a shooting spree. 

Adult Ricky (Eric Freeman) wreaking havoc in SN, DN 2

After Ricky is arrested at the scene of the crime - or crimes - he's incarcerated in the facility we saw at the film's opening. But the lad has only been feigning sanity to the psychiatrist, who he kills. He then makes his escape, donning a Santa Claus suit along the way and heading to the home address of the now confusingly scarred Mother Superior (Jean Miller) to avenge his brother's treatment. He's shot by the police only after he beheads the Mother Superior, but in the last scene Ricky's eyes open. He's not dead then!

Harry is as good as his word, in that a lot of his shot scenes include a certain levity within the violence: on his shooting spree, Ricky spies a guy taking out the trash and shouts "Garbage day!" (a line which has helped propel this movie to cult status via social media outlets) before firing his gun; in another scene the lad kills a mean mob bloke by ramming him through with an umbrella, and then opening it once the thing has exited the dude's body. Oh and Ricky gets his revenge on a cocky young 'un, Chip (Kenneth Brian James) who was a previous lover of his girlfriend Jennifer (Elizabeth Cayton), by ramming a battery charger into his mouth, turning the dials to max and making his eyes explode. He also kills Jennifer for the crime of having sex with a previous partner after Jennifer tells Ricky she hates him for killing her former beau.

And the bizarre scenes continue. Ricky and Jennifer go to the cinema, a scene which is mainly put together so that our hero can take out a rowdy customer throwing popcorn in the back row. Jennifer is slightly amazed as Ricky soaks up the violent trailers he sees on screen (surely this is Harry's comment on then current concerns about the influence of violent films). But what triggers Ricky inside the cinema? Why it's the film on screen; it's actually SN, DN, a meta moment if ever there was one. 

Ricky is played by Eric Freeman, who wasn't the first choice for the role; he'd originally auditioned for a bit part. The director chose him because, like Robert Brian Wilson before him, he wasn't a typical psychopath. He isn't a conventional actor either; he sort of gurns through the role and does a lot of emoting using his eyebrows.

With its bright LA setting (Sierra Madre, specifically, also a favourite with John Carpenter; Harry had neither the time nor inclination to shoot at the previous movie's locations) there's little that's Christmassy about this first sequel (to compensate Ricky's triggers are expanded to nuns and the colour red - Harry's Marnie moment possibly) apart from the scenes lifted from the first film. Contrary what the director intended (and Appelbaum wanted) SN, DN 2 remains a film of two halves. It's enjoyable in its daftness; a very watchable misfire, aided by some terrific stunt work by Spiro Rizotas and F/X and makeup by the very talented Chris Biggs.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (USA 1989 (video): Dir Monte Hellman) Yes, that is the same Monte Hellman - of Beast from Haunted Cave (1959) and Two-Lane Blacktop (1971) fame - on the credits of this second SN, DN sequel.

SN, DN3 was the first in house production project from IVE (later LIVE Entertainment) who had previously only distributed movies, but were keen to cash in on the burgeoning direct to video film market: Better Watch Out! is the first of the franchise not to have had a theatrical release. Richard Gladstein from LIVE (who cameos in this and all subsequent SN, DN films) made the wise decision to pay for the franchise rights rather than license them, which would bear fruit in terms of the narrative direction of subsequent entries. 

At the end of SN, DN2 although Ricky had been taken down in a hail of gunfire after beheading the Mother Superior, he survived the attack (Bill Moseley); his body was taken back to a research facility where, after surgery, he was kept alive in a vegetative state, a transparent dome fixed to his head, exposing his brain. 

Dr. Newbury (Richard Beymer) has managed to establish a neural link between Ricky and a psychically gifted outpatient, Laura (Samantha Scully), blind as the result of a plane crash which also killed her parents. Laura's gifts include the ability to predict the future - a narrative idea only briefly explored - and in experiments Laura gets to experience Ricky's memories; a rather dangerous undertaking in that she is also undergoing therapy to deal with her blindness and grief issues.

Bill Moseley is Ricky in SN, DN 3

An understandably taciturn Laura is off to spend Christmas at her grandmother's (Elizabeth Hoffman) along with brother Chris (Eric Da Re) and his new girlfriend, perky Jerri (Laura Harring, birth name Laura Elena Gräfin von Bismarck-Schönhausen, trivia fans). However Ricky has managed to 'hear' where Laura is going, and after killing a hospital Santa, a receptionist (wearing a large red poinsettia, natch), a truck driver and a gas station owner he makes his way to granny's house; he's obviously got there first, as when Chris, Jerri and Laura arrive there's no trace of their relative. Following up on the string of murders is Lt. Connely (Robert Culp, the movie's big star) who, aided by Dr Newbury, realises that he has a very specific brand of criminal on his hands.

Apparently Hellman had to be asked a few times to take on the project, only acquiescing when he needed the money; he also junked the first script for the film (which, sources say, became  the initial draft of the story for SN, DN4). There is a dark humour to Better Watch Out! which critics at the time misread. The 'comedy' is largely in the setup; a killer wearing a hospital gown with a half fishbowl on his head searches for a blind woman with whom he has formed a connection. With very little to establish the Christmas atmosphere - the film was shot in California, not known for its snowy holiday season - and a very tenuous connection with the previous two films, the cast nevertheless give it their all and Moseley, an intelligent and quirky actor, manages to convey pathos rather than fear as Ricky.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (USA 1990 (video); Dir Brian Yuzna) LIVE made a wise to choice to appoint maverick director Yuzna - fresh from Bride of Re-Animator the same year - if their intention was to take a sharp left turn in the continuation of the Ricky/Billy story contained - albeit increasingly loosely - within the previous three SN, DN movies.

By this time LIVE boss Richard Gladstein had decided that the only common link between all the SN, DN films would be 'murders at Christmas'. Narratively this pretty much left the field open; and Yuzna's story for Initiation was very 'open' indeed.

Frustrated magazine staffer Kim Levitt (a very game Neith Hunter, an ex model and actress who had done a little TV and film, but for whom this was a first lead role) has just seen footage of a woman jumping to her death on the news; the corpse shows signs of spontaneous combustion. Kim wants to cover the story but her boyfriend, writer at the same organ, reminds her that she runs the classifieds and as such isn't likely to get to write the copy.

Kim decides to investigate the death herself, travelling to the site of the supposed suicide where she encounters the mysterious Fima (Maud Adams, the 'name' ticket on the movie), owner of a bookshop and leader of a very small cult dedicated to the worship of Lilith, together with her creepy slave Ricky (the as ever excellent Clint Howard) and her serving maidens. Kim is drawn into the cult, who initially provide a refreshing change to the day to day sexism she experiences via her work and her boyfriend, only to find that Fima is equally controlling and has an ulterior use for the wannabe journalist; well her womb at least.

Maud Adams as Fima in SN, DN 4

"Sometimes I take a look at the movies I made, and I'm kinda shocked" confessed Yuzna on the director's commentary for the Blu Ray of this film, and Initiation is, in current parlance, 'a lot'. At its heart the movie is a fairly standard tale of witchcraft in downtown LA, but Yuzna's choice to employ F/X genius Screaming Mad George (aka Japanese legend Jôji Tani), who he'd used on his previous features BoR and Society) took his film to a different, and far more surreal level. 

Mr George had previously devised the cockroach death sequence in Renny Harlin's fourth instalment of the 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' franchise, and these beasts are very prevalent in Initiation, whether in their natural form (the movie needed the help of a roach wrangler) or as outsize models, c/o SMG (the plot has something to do with curse of Lilith taking the form of a reborn roach type beast). They guy's outrageous creations give rise to a series of nightmarish scenes which were probably added into the script just because everybody thought they'd be cool, rather than for narrative cohesion; this has the effect of putting Hunter through the wringer in turns of gloop and having to vomit out George created roach creatures. She also has several scenes of frankly gratuitous nudity because Yuzna (and presumably Gladstein) wanted to spice things up for the home rental crowd; Initiation went straight to video and, like its franchise predecessors, did very well in this format. In fact well enough to fund a fifth movie.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (USA 1991: Dir Martin Kitrosser) SN, DN 5 marked Kitrosser's debut as a director and is also, sadly, the weakest of the franchise's five entries.

Yuzna, who co-produced this along with Gladstein, has gone on record as regretting the lack of Christmassy elements to Initiation. The Toy Maker certainly makes up for this. 

Little Derek (William Thorne) is stunned into selective mutism after witnessing the death of his father, after dad opens a killer Christmas present intended for his son. Said gift is a cylinder with tentacles which reach out to strangle him.

Derek's mum Sarah (Jane Higginson) despairs at her son's condition, and tries to cheer him up by taking him to his favourite toy shop, Petto's, run by kindly old Joe (Mickey Rooney) and his weird son Pino (Brian Bremner). A shifty guy called Noah (Tracy Fraim) shows a keen interest in Derek and Sarah, and also in buying lots of Joe's toys, including one, Larry the Larvae, that comes to life and kills a motel owner. Another anonymous gift meant for Derek  - but which is chucked out before he can open it - is a pair of rocket powered roller blades which, when worn, cause the wearer to lose control and end up dead. What is going on?

Well the weird upshot of all this is that Noah is actually an old flame of Sarah's and the real father of Derek; he quit the scene before realising his girlfriend was pregnant. He's also been keeping tabs on Petto's, buying the toys as a way of checking up on the proprietor. Joe may seem like just a kindly old store owner but he also happens to have a side trade as a crazy inventor; and his creations include his own son Pino, in what is this whole franchise's weirdest reveal.

Pino (Brian Bremner) in SN, DN 5: The Toy Maker

With its scenes of advancing toys and mechanics gone wrong, it's clear that Kitrosser may have seen the first two films in the 'Puppet Master' franchise. After the sex and gore excesses of Initiation, The Toy Maker is much tamer stuff. Screaming Mad George is back on F/X duties but he seems to have had his wings clipped here, certainly compared with the last movie; a disembodied robot hand acting as an assistant in a couple's lovemaking and Larry the Larvae entering a guy's mouth and exiting from his eye socket are the closest he gets to his former weirdness. Rooney, still a jobbing actor at the end of the 20th century, gives the material more class than it deserves (and as everybody notes his casting is a bit rich as he was one of the voices calling out against the first SN, DN movie but hey, everyone has to eat). Neith Hunter is in this one, clothes definitely on this time, as a mum friend of Susan's, and there are also cameos from Clint Howard, Gladstein and Brian's Yuzna's son Conan. All in all not a great end to the franchise.

I should mention that I have not included the US movie Silent Night, released in 2012 and directed by Stephen C Miller, in this article. While the film makes some references to the franchise it's not a remake as such.

Scary Christmas Round up of New (ish) Holiday themed Horror Movies 2023: Reviews of There's Something in the Barn (Norway/Finland 2023), It's a Wonderful Knife (UK/USA/Canada 2023), Amityville Christmas Vacation (USA 2022), He Knows (USA 2022), XXX-Mas (USA 2023), Santa Isn't Real (USA 2023) and The Sacrifice Game (USA 2023), The 12 Slays of Christmas (USA 2022) and Christmas Bloody Christmas (USA 2022)

For some reason I didn't do this last year; it's a thread I've been running under one title or another since 2018, so it's a bit of a DEoL seasonal tradition. Here's a bumper post of 9 Christmas themed fright flicks which either came out last year, are out now or will be out (hopefully) soon:

There's Something in the Barn (Norway/Finland 2023: Dir Magnus Martens) In this sprightly but desperately unfunny horror comedy, a family of four uproot from California to snowy Norway to take up residence in a house left by a relative.

The kids feel the displacement greatly. As a stroppy teenager Nora (Zoe Winter-Hansen) misses her friends and hates everything about the move, whereas younger brother Lucas (Townes Brunner) maintains more of a childlike sense of wonder, particularly when he glimpses an elf (Kiran Shah) that lives in the dilapidated barn (that’s the ‘something’ in case you were wondering) which mum and dad want to fix up as a rental; the barn not the elf.

People in the town, a not particularly friendly bunch, and a local police officer (an amusing turn from Henriette Steenstrup) originally deny knowledge of elves in the vicinity, but Lucas finds out that to get along with the little chap, one needs to minimise noise, light etc. Too late as Christmas approaches and the family are intent on illuminating the barn, firing up the Christmas tunes and plying the locals with grog. Such flagrant disregard of the basic tenets of elf civility are met with fury, not just from the original behatted geezer but his mates too, and very soon it’s a family vs elf fight to the death.

Plus points; it looks great. It’s beautifully lit and the colour palette is gorgeous, really playing up the Christmas greens and reds. When the falling snow gathers among the forest firs, it’s quite something.

The downside; it’s the most obviously scripted film I’ve seen this year. Not one of the gags lands and I counted at least four occasions when I knew what was going to be said next well before it was uttered. Everything is overplayed to breaking point – this does not make things funny. And the second half of the film derives its ‘humour’ from watching people of restricted height run around dressed as elves and falling over; for a very long time. I could have understood the movie better if it was played for bad taste, but it actually comes across like a PG flick with a bit of gore and a few f-bombs. Really not very good at all.

(a version of this review originally appeared on the Bloody Flicks site)

It's a Wonderful Knife (UK/USA/Canada 2023: Dir Tyler MacIntyre) This initially clever take on Capra's seasonal Christmas classic doesn't only play on the title; it takes the central plot idea for It's a Wonderful Life but sadly doesn't really know what to do with it once the movie gets going.

In an extended but entirely necessary prologue, town goody goody Winnie (Jane Widdop) successfully kills a masked murderer who has been terrorising her home town of Angel Falls and despatching her friends; the killer is unmasked as the Trumpean property developer Henry Waters (Justin Long at his annoying best).

A year after these events, Winnie is friendless, ostracised by the town and hated by Waters' thick brother Buck (Sean Depner). The unusual arrival of the aurora borealis prompts her to make a wish that she hadn't carried out the act; her wish is granted but, like James Stewart's George Bailey before her (but rather quicker than his penny drop moment), Winnie realises that leaving the killer alive was the worst thing she could have done for the town.

Despite the lively pace of the thing, and more than a few good lines, It's a Wonderful Knife ultimately gets bogged down in its own concept; there's lots going on but it becomes less and less interesting as it progresses. It's a shame; I really wanted to like it but, despite the gags and gore, it was just rather lacking.

Amityville Christmas Vacation (USA 2022: Dir Steve Rudzinski) Prolific writer/director/producer Rudzinski has created a weird, Pee Wee Herman type character called Wally, a 'loveable' policeman, who has to date appeared in five of the guy's home grown movies, including this one. If the title feels somewhat familiar, you should also know that Wally's surname is Griswold and this one also features a character called Jessica D'Angelo; we are definitely not in the land of subtle.

In ACV Wally gets star prize in a competition he knew nothing about, to win a Christmas stay at a house in Amityville. No no that one (it's revealed in a funny sight gag) but the one next door, which is also haunted by a human slaying ghost called Jessica (Allen Isley). Said spirit puts her murderous impulses to one side and falls in love with our Wally, forcing the landlady of the house (Marci Leigh), who has been feeding the spirit unsuspecting victims for years - and getting to like it - to take matters into her own hands.

I confess that this is the first of the 'Wally' movies I have seen (and if it wasn't for seeking out seasonal fright flicks to review, I'd have been none the wiser), but at 47 minutes it was pretty entertaining. Rudzinski's stock cast have all appeared in his other movies, as have his pet cat and rats. In case you're thinking that this feelgood featurette is the genuine saccharine article, fear not; the director's tongue is never far from his cheek and he even takes a few side swipes at the police along the way. ACV is pretty fun and I'll admit, I laughed out loud more than once. Very cheap though, mind.

He Knows (USA 2022: Dir Steven Morris) The reason I post these annual reviews of seasonal fright flicks is love; I adore movies which combine horror and the holiday season (preferably with authentic snow), and my critical faculties nosedive as a result. Mostly. He Knows is Morris's feature debut as a director, which will be plain to see for anyone venturing a look at this limp slasher.

Twenty years after a family massacre by a (normal height) guy wearing an elf mask, who names himself 'Sammy the Elf', 10 year old Christina, who managed to escape the killer's blade, is now a mum herself (Kayla Kelly). She shares custody of her daughter Stephanie (Morgan Pyle) with ex husband Steve (Zach Meiser), an all round good guy who now has a new partner of his own. Christmas time approaches and everyone settles down to get on the best they can, including Christina's mum (the ubiquitous Lynn Lowry). But trouble's in store; Sammy the Elf has returned, keen to pick up where he left off all those years ago.

For a very low budget film there are almost too many characters here, and Morris keeps piling them on (the annoying Shawn C. Phillips even gets a look in, in a character role for once) as cannon - or knife and sometimes firearm - fodder for the slashy elf (who to be fair has a creepy mask and cuts quite the menacing figure). He Knows goes on and on with no dramatic tension whatsoever and only a glancing nod to the festive season. There's some effective practical gore, but everyone in this is so awful you just don't care about anyone. A very minor addition to the seasonal slasher genre.

XXX-Mas (USA 2023: Dir James Dean) Dean's latest movie is a sort of porno/horror mashup. But disabuse yourself that this could in any way be compared to Ti West's X (2022); this is far more cheap and cheerful, but certainly not without its appeal.

Santa Claus aka Saint Nick (Drew Marvick) is kicking back before the big day, chomping on milk and cookies and watching a rerun of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians on TV. But attentive Mrs Claus (Lindsay Washburn) has a secret which, when hubby finds out, is about to send him loco.

Elsewhere porno bigwig Johnny Duckett (Chris Ruppert) is assembling cast members for his latest shoot, an ambitious full feature Christmas porno horror. His stars Kristy Kreme (Morrigan Thompson), Black Mamba (Jonathan May), Jack Rabbit (Shaun Scott) and Angel Luv (Kaity Navi McAllister) are either cynical about Duckett's ambitions or see it as just another job, but they're all incensed to learn that the producer is none other than accused sexual abuser Atilla the Hung (Kyle Shute) with his new lady Lana Luscious (the ubiquitous Felissa Rose).

But things are about to become rather heated on set; a rampaging Santa has picked off a series of party guests who are employees of Duckett, and is making his way to the studio to find out who has been naughty or nice (clue - it's a porn shoot).

Dean's cast comprise a mix of 'straight' actors and porn stars, and it's to everyone's credit that it's difficult to tell who's who here. "I'm SAG 'til the end of the year" gripes Angel, until Duckett promises to fix the paperwork, and the script is full of little asides like this that overcome the rather pedestrian pace.

But you'll come to this for the practical gore effects, which are, for the estimated $85,000 budget, pretty amazing, courtesy of Wesley Curtis and Deryk Wehrley. Highlights include a head squeezed until it pops, a zombie elf who bites off a male member, knifings and deaths by candy cane and boiling water. Yeah there's some sauce too - all round this is a really well put together low budget seasonal slasher.

(a version of this review originally appeared on the Bloody Flicks site)

Santa Isn't Real (USA 2023: Dir Zac Locke) The beautiful Columbia river area of Oregon is the setting for this intimate seasonal slasher. Not that you get to see much of it, but SIR does at least benefit from having some real snow.

Waking from a 12 month coma, the result of an attack by a mysterious Santa Claus figure, Nikki (Kaya Coleman) is welcomed back into the arms of her mates Jess (Scarlett Sperduto), boyfriend Nathan (Trey Anderson) and MJ (Cissy Ly). The problem is, when you're a young, horny person, a year is a long time, and so during her 'lights out' period Jess and Nathan have become an item. Worse, nobody believes Nikki's story about a killer Saint Nick, and thinks she may have attempted to take her own life.

To aid her recuperation the gang decide to take Nikki to a snowy mountain retreat for Christmas. Big mistake; pretty much as soon as they arrive she surprises Nathan and Jess in flagrante delicto. Then the power goes out, and someone in a red and white suit starts picking people off.

Because there's really only four people in this one the bumping off takes a while; meanwhile we get discussions about faith (MJ is a religion doubting lesbian, Nathan is Jewish and Jess is a devout Christian). At one point the vicar in the local church delivers a barnstorming speech about the devilish links between Santa and Satan, which is pretty entertaining, and the soundtrack features some catchy songs from husband and wife duo 'The Imaginaries'. Like Locke's previous movie Afloat, this is clearly an attempt to market a horror film for the TikTok generation; which makes his choice of subject matter - and title - rather dangerous. Surely many TikTokers still believe in the guy in the red suit?

The Sacrifice Game (USA 2023: Dir Jenn Wexler) From a movie featuring real snow to one, despite being located in Canada - an abbey in Oka, Quebec - which has to resort to the fake white stuff. 

At the exclusive Blackvale School for Girls deep in the woods the Christmas holidays are approaching. Most of the pupils are heading home to welcoming parents, all except Samantha (Madison Baines), whose folks are too busy come and pick her up; and the mysterious Clara (Georgia Acken) who stays behind every year. Keeping them company is their teacher Rose (Chloë Levine) and her boyfriend, handyman Jimmy (Gus Kenworthy).

Meanwhile across the state a series of Manson like home invasions/murders has been taking place, with the perpetrators taking pieces of skin from their victims and daubing strange symbols using their blood.

With Jimmy away ferrying the last batch of departing girls to the station, the intruders, comprising Maisie (Olivia Scott Welch), Jude (Mena Massoud), Grant (Derek Johns) and Doug (Laurent Pitre) visit the school and inveigle their way in. What ensues sees the intruders realise their up to now hidden ambitions but face one or two surprises along the way, thwarting their ultimate goal.

I get a bit sick of describing films as 'starting out well' but this one really does, Alexandre Bussière's freewheeling camera in the opening scene documenting the brutal details of one of the four's home invasions, before a 1970s 'made for TV' title card appears on screen. Sadly as soon as the gang arrive at the school (a very impressive location) pacing wise it's like watching a slowly deflating balloon, the story eventually becoming a bloodier episode of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. Because the nature of the plot is that key elements can't be immediately revealed, this tends to make everything a little hesitant; and when the plot unveil hits us it's pretty anti climactic. The Sacrifice Game looks good but it's way too drawn out; the Christmas element, quickly discarded, is merely a narrative tool to empty the school. Disappointing.

The 12 Slays of Christmas (USA 2022: Dir William Butler) Look out - Full Moon Pictures alert! This 41 minute short is a bit of a con. Three party girls, who while driving to an evening of "booze, boys and thrills" get stranded in the snow, come across an old house.

Inside the table is laid for a feast and the foot of the Christmas tree is groaning with presents. At first the house seems empty, but the occupant is soon revealed; he's a Crypt Keeper type guy called Ignatius Herrington (Tom Fitzpatrick), who encourages the girls to eat and drink, and take turns opening the presents, while they wait  for a tow truck.

In true Full Moon style each present turns out to be a creature from one of the company's productions; a page in an accompanying book gives more details about the little creatures while we are shown excerpts from the movies in which the beasts are included; yep, basically clips from Full Moon Pictures productions.

They include 'Jack-in-the-box', Six Shooter, Tunneler, Leech Woman, Evil Bong, Baby Oopsie and, just to add some live action into the mix, the vampire Radu from the 'Subspecies' movies. A little Christmas card from the company to its fans, this doesn't really have anything going for it, except that the girls, in demon form, turn on Herrington as the 12th 'slay'.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (USA 2022: Dir Joe Begos) Those unfamiliar with the films of Mr Begos may wish to know that the director is more about the look and 'vibe' of his films than narrative or character development. CBC is no exception.

On Christmas eve Tori (Riley Dandey) shuts up her record and tape shop and gets ready to meet up with her Tinder date, of whom she knows nothing. Her employee Robbie (Sam Delich), who clearly has a crush on her, disabuses Tori about the quality of her date, resulting in the pair having a pissup across town.

From a bunch of rough and ready fake ads at the beginning of the movie we learn that a range of seasonal life sized automatons, called 'Robo Santa Plus' have been rolled out into shops. We also learn that they have been swiftly recalled because of a production error. One such robot Santa comes to life after lights out and goes on the rampage.

And that's it! I told you that narrative isn't a big thing with Begos. What the guy does, within a limited budget, is create a superbly edited, fantastic looking movie, with more than a nod to 'The Terminator' franchise (ok maybe mainly the first one). He strips out anything you don't need and concentrates on establishing the characters of Tori and Robbie (through some very funny dialogue). For anyone who's seen his last two offerings, Bliss and VFM, you'll know Begos is the master of saturated colour; he excels in CBC. Everything is washed in Christmassy reds and greens (including Robo Santa's laser beam eyeballs) and the action is brilliantly offset by the synth wash score of Begos regular Steve Moore. Look this ain't subtle, it's not frightening, but it's a great addition to the seasonal film canon.