NEW WAVE OF THE BRITISH FANTASTIC FILM 2020 #18: Reviews of A Helical (UK 2020), Black Box (UK 2020), Dark Web: Mystery Box (UK 2020), Fearfully Made (UK 2020), Goodbye Mary (UK 2020) and House of the Laughing Cuckoo Clocks (UK 2020)

A Helical (UK 2020: Dir Marcus McMahon) Stephen Richardson's glacial synth score and some impressive visuals kick off McMahon's impressive, puzzling and ultimately inscrutable 30 minute sci fi short. A man, the helical of the title, appears on an Earth like planet, confronting first a vision of his, or at least a mother, and then three antagonistic blinking men, as he walks through the subways and spaces of this strange environment, until he eventually reaches what could be a stargate: oh and there's a Zardoz like head which dispenses sage if baffling advice.

This is all about the mood; don't go looking for answers, you've come to the wrong place. A Helical is a master class in lighting, stunningly clear photography, a chilling score and enigmatic dialogue. McMahon's choice of locations, such as the south London subways of Crystal Palace, impressively renders earthbound places strange and unusual.

In its beautiful inaccessibility it reminded me of the equally impenetrable films of John Harrigan. "You are born into a pattern. You are a pattern" we are told. I'm sure you are old chap.

You can watch A Helical here. 

Black Box (UK 202: Dir Angel Delgado) Tyco Silver 7 is a space pod containing a lone man who awakes in the drifting vessel unsure who he is or how he got there. Said man is Marcus (Garry Graham-Smith) and by a process of mental reconstruction he works out that he's the sole survivor of an accident in space; his task is now to journey home with the black box that holds the key to the disaster. He's also injured and not exactly in peak condition, so the odds are rather stacked against him.

He's assisted in his endeavour by Sarah (Kelly Ely), a remote intern who helps him reassemble his thoughts and, as a non astronaut, to make sense of the switches and dials in front of him. There's also engineer Ray Getty (Simon Parker), whose lack of people skills is the last thing Marcus needs.

As another pod moves into view, potentially containing another survivor of the crash, Marcus's objectives are split; rendezvous with the other craft or sit tight and deliver both him and the black box safely?

Black Box's setup - one guy and a series of disembodied voices - rather stretches the patience over the course of 90 minutes. Each crisis is dealt with slowly and the movie struggles to build much dramatic tension. Some external scenes are added in to break up the monotony (in one you'll believe a man can travel in space with little more than gaffer tape over his gob) but this is really all down to Graham-Smith's performance, which thankfully keeps the attention. Add in some regional accents of the other staff, and a reference to Swindon Space Control, and you have a home counties Gravity without the emotional heft. Would probably have worked better as a radio play, and only very marginally a 'Fantastic' film.

Dark Web: Mystery Box (UK 2020: Dir Tony Newton, Josh Schultz) The Creepypasta legend of the cursed or haunted tape comes to life in this Tony Newton scripted, shot in lockdown movie. 

Newton is a British director who's found some success locating his product Stateside. Here he's teamed up with two low low budget US directors to make a kind of extended horror version of a YouTube unboxing video. 

A number of social media vloggers receive strange packages, presumably sent via mail from the dark web. The receivers include ubiquitous DVD obsessive Shawn C. Phillips, online astrologer Brandywine (low budget horror star Julia Anne Prescott), Sarah and Josh Shultz as 'The Haunted Honeymooners', JordanIntoMystery (Dane Keil), Tonez (Newton) and Nicole (Rheanon Nicole).

The contents of each 'horror box' contains different, and usually icky things - a bloody pentagram, rusty razorblade, human hair, coffin nails etc. Nearly all of the boxes also contain an unmarked video cassette. The vloggers' reactions to these boxes range from the intrigued to the disgusted, but all eventually manage to find VCRs to play the tape, which we fleetingly see and which contains masked figures and a possible sacrifice. And of course after watching the tape, each person becomes cursed; some are offed by a shadowy figure.

Dark Web: Mystery Box is actually a lot more watchable than some movies filmed as a result of the Pandemic. It's a bit long but there's a lot of variety and it's good to see the horror community having a good time.

You can watch Dark Web: Mystery Box here. 

Fearfully Made (UK 2020: Dir Jamie Foreman) Foreman's 20 minute sci fi short (and therefore just nudging into this project, length wise) did quite a lot of festival business in 2020 and then promptly disappeared until its recent online resurgence. This is good news as it's a very poignant, well made tale of the possibilities of AI care for the elderly in the future.

Maggie (Alex Povah) lives with her husband Arthur (John Arthur). When Maggie has a fall, necessitating her being sent to a nursing home, their daughter Laura (Kate Hampson) has a dilemma: who's going to look after dad? Laura decides, following her father's discharge from hospital, to employ Aria (Jessica Blake) an AI care assistant.

On the face of things it's a good plan; Aria can provide for Arthur's every need; but she becomes too attentive, ultimately making the old man a prisoner in his own home.

Desperate to escape Aria's tender clutches and see his wife, he hatches a plan to escape, but it turns out that Aria's motives were more benevolent than first thought.

On the basis of Fearfully Made (the title is from a well known quote from Psalms) I'd like to see more work from Foreman; his short is elegantly produced and within its slim running time asks some interesting questions about what it is to be human and robot.

You can watch Fearfully Made here.

Goodbye Mary (UK 2020: Dir Eva María Fernández) This movie seems to have originated in 2018 -  judging by some of the cast's CV pages - as a 90 minute movie, but was released in October 2020 (it eventually turned up on YouTube with Spanish subs a year or so ago at an inflated 113 minutes). Fragile Jane (Zoe Cunningham) is a woman hosting a wake following the funeral of best friend, party loving Mary, who died in a drink-drive accident. A small gathering of mutual friends have reunited at Jane's, mostly women, and waste no time laying into each other, prompted by recollections of their departed 'friend'. It's a tense scene. Jane's partner George (Rob Kirtley) one of two men at the wake, has some history with flirty Sally (Helen-Rose Hampton) whose partner Amit is away at a conference. Also in the group is bossy Rebeca (Fernández), sculptress Anne (Claire Louise Amias)  - who once photocopied her tits in a drunken prank - and Isabel (Eugenia Low) whose sexual orientation is just one source of gossip. 

Jane, keen to escape the difficult scene below, retreats to her room. Maybe it's her medication, but she starts to have visions of the dead Mary, who encourages her to think less of the people downstairs, who are busy trading secrets and lies. Like a middle class dinner party version of a Jane Arden film, Goodbye Mary goes on and on for a bum numbing near two hours. Fernandez gets a lot of dialogue but sadly is the weakest of the cast (but I guess it was her prerogative) and as the writer of this tedium is really not doing any of the women any favours by defining them as a bunch of bickerers. Apart from the visits of Mary you'll have to wait until the last couple of minutes of the film for anything vaguely horrific to happen. Pretty awful. 

You can watch Goodbye Mary (and brush up on your Spanish) here.

House of the Laughing Cuckoo Clocks (UK 2020: Dir Michael Fenton Crenshaw) You like the esoteric? Well pull up a magic mushroom and feast your eyes on this!

Michael Fenton Crenshaw, originally south London based, set up Demogorgon Productions to publicise his very odd films. The Left Hand trilogy, of which House of the Laughing Cuckoo Clocks is the second instalment, commenced with The Left Hand Path back in 2017. Don't worry if you didn't catch this one; it won't really help you understand HotLCC, which is best seen as an extended (2 hour!) musing on belief, cosmology and magick. 

Only marginally categorisable as a 'Fantastic Film', HotLCC is split into five sections; the only consistent theme running through them is a devil faced amulet, which causes no end of psychic trouble for those who come into contact with it. In the first section, 'Solve Coagula' (the title refers to a principle in alchemy), a priest in possession of the amulet (literally) pisses on the Bible and later (off screen) takes his own life. Other men of the cloth urinate, fart and expose themselves. In 'Bacalou Junction' (a reference to a saint of the Gnostic church), two girls kill hikers in the woods and drink both blood and bottles of morphine. In 'The Blade of Kalfu' (the knife an element of Haitian belief) we witness a fire ritual. In 'XV1' the 'action' veers between London and the USA - apparently some scenes were filmed at what's left of the once infamous Spahn ranch, as snippets of Manson's "I'll Never Say Never to Always" play and a violinist interprets the theme to John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13. And finally, in 'Aptal 5' (five being the numerical value of Aptal in Pythagorean Numerology, don'cha know?) the amulet is returned to its original location via a couple of goths, only to be picked up by a punky looking girl who starts off a new chain of possession.

HotLCC is the kind of thing that you might find playing in an art gallery and is best appreciated as a set of images rather than a narrative whole; if you have the patience. Beware though, that Demogorgon Productions' strapline is "The British new wave avant-garde where nonsense makes sense" so any interpretation is clearly up to the viewer.

You can watch HotLCC and all of Crenshaw's works at the Demogorgon site here.

NEW WAVE OF THE BRITISH FANTASTIC FILM 2022 #5: Reviews of Cannibal Cabin (UK 2022), The Winter Witch (UK 2022), Among the Living (UK 2022), The Rise of the Beast (UK 2022), Are We Monsters (UK 2022) and Senseless (UK 2022)

Cannibal Cabin (aka Cannibal Lake) (UK 2022: Dir Louisa Warren) OK so in the past I've been critical of the films of Ms Warren and her ilk for including large amounts of extraneous exposition to pad them out to feature length. Here Warren decides to ditch any real attempt to establish character, motive etc in favour of what she would probably pitch as non stop action and violence, but what the casual viewer would conclude is interminable walking about in a dingy lock up.

Said lock up - and surroundings - has been kindly donated by the Lagoona Water Park in downtown, er, Reading, and despite the prominent trumpeting of their sponsorship in the credits, I'm not sure that the company may have seen the final version of the movie, otherwise they might think about removing their association with this travesty.

After an extended prologue, set in 2002 wherein three friends (including one who is heavily pregnant) are attacked by some mask wearing throwbacks for having the temerity to enjoy a spot of jet skiing, we're plunged headlong into the present day and a vanload of twenty somethings in search of a music festival (er, they're in Reading, how hard can it be to locate this?). The tipoff about the event has come from one of their number, Faye (Mia Lacostena, a new inductee to the Warren fold), a strange loner who may be sheltering a secret about her past. 

En route to the festival the music lovers get lost and stumble across some buildings, hoping to get directions from the occupiers. But instead of a warm welcome, the facility is home to the same masked throwbacks we saw in the prologue, who begin their flimsy reign of terror, triggering lots of running around and hiding.

Warren's films can be a bit hit and miss, but Cannibal Cabin is an absolute dud. Having grown up watching the fright flicks of the late 1970s/1980s it's perhaps no surprise that this one attempts a The Hills Have Eyes feel with a bit of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre thrown in, with the cannibal freaks, who all seem to be part of the same family, constantly complaining about city types as they mete out their vengeance. Warren has added a (royalty free I assume) cheesy FM rock soundtrack to add verisimilitude, which at times threatens to drown out the dialogue in its overapplication; thank heavens for small mercies.

The Winter Witch (UK 2022: Dir Richard John Taylor) I'm going to start with a positive. Some of the camerawork on this film was lovely; initially I was going to write this element off with some comment about good use of stock photography, but with an 8 strong camera crew and a drone operator I think the majority of footage was captured by the crew. So well done! And now for the rest of it...

A few years ago there was a small rash - more like a blister - of films based on or incorporating the Austrian/German originated myth of Frau Perchta, the Christmas Witch, including James Klass's 2017 Mother Krampus.

The idea of Frau Perchta as a recurring character in films didn't really take off, but some years later this hasn't deterred Richard John Taylor (otherwise known as British filmmaker, author and restaurateur Meredith Alfred Lytton) from putting together a film whose alternative titles have included 'The Curse of Frau Perchta' and 'Baba Yaga'.

It's Christmas (not that you'd know it apart from a few bursts of Hawes's 'Carol of the Bells' on the soundtrack), and troubled Ingrid (Rose Hakki) is about to take a trip with her daughter Eleanor (Evie Hughes) back to the home where she grew up, the scene of a deadly tragedy from childhood which seems to have repeated itself. Ingrid is a journalist, and her boss encourages the trip because he feels her coverage of the story will be good for his newspaper's circulation. On the other hand Ingrid's estranged husband Frank (Jimmy 'The Bee' Bennett) is against it, fearing that his wife and child will be in danger.

Ingrid's grandmother, or Oma (Rula Lenska) still lives in the village where it all happened, and the arrival of her granddaughter and great granddaughter upsets the locals, who fear that the tragedy that claimed Ingrid's mother and sister Hannah is being rekindled by her return. There is no further direct discussion about the recent murders, which it assumed as being perpetrated once again by Frau Perchta. There is an awful lot of hand wringing as various characters work out their personal crises; with about fifteen minutes to spare the Frau herself very briefly pops up and is quickly despatched.

Anyone hoping for some demonic visitations, a bit of gore or indeed anything beyond characters shouting and pointing at each other for an hour and a bit is in for some real disappointment. The Winter Witch is all close ups, portentous music and little else. 'The Curse is real' suggests the publicity - so, my friends, is the tedium.

Among the Living (UK 2022: Dir Rob Worsey) Anyone who saw the TV show The Last of Us before Worsey's debut feature may feel a little short changed (the dynamics and themes of both are very similar, the budgets aren't) which would be a shame as Among the Living has a lot to offer.

Filmed in North Yorkshire, with stunning rural photography by Jordan Lee, we follow Harry (Dean Michael Gregory) and his younger sister Lily (Melissa Worsey) as they travel cross country from their home in search of their father. Although the details aren't made clear, the nation has been overrun with a pandemic which has turned the infected into blood drinkers, who can sniff out the red stuff at quite a distance; hence any cuts must be covered up instantly to avoid detection.

On their journey they encounter other disparate souls, including the initially taciturn Karl (George Newton) and his 'son' Tom (Leon Worsey); but the spirit of the age is that no-one trusts anybody else,  civilisation being in danger of complete collapse.

If this set up sounds a little like the A Quiet Place movies you'd be right; but it's more a jumping off point than a ripoff. Among the Living - the title comes from a line in one of the soundtrack songs by US band 'The Rinaldis' - concerns itself with ordinary people trying to stay sane in the face of an unprecedented crisis. Here it's all about the performances; low budget movies can be a little shaky in this department but the cast create a believable sense of isolation, fear and confusion, particularly the children Lily and Tom (played by the director's siblings). The lush score by Mitch Gardener heightens the mood of despair perfectly; this is a well directed, well acted movie that rises above its unoriginal premise.

The Rise of the Beast aka Devolution (UK 2022: Dir Jack Ayers) Scott Jeffrey and Rebecca Matthews, a 21st Century home counties equivalent of US budget schlock producers Nicholson and Arkoff, are back (again) with their by now rather formulaic approach to sci fi horror.

Damien Smith (Andrew Rolfe) is the head of Darrow, a company involved in the murky world of genetic experimentation; their hotshit lead scientist John (Arthur Boan) is in reality a mole who actually leads a group of saboteurs, including his girlfriend Elena (the ever dependable Sarah T. Cohen), keen on exposing to the world the seamy goings on in the company.

To do this they need to break into Darrow's facility and document the testing, as well as uncovering the mystery of the recent disappearance of a number of people in the vicinity of the lab. But there's a problem; before the group can get anywhere near their destination they're attacked by a giant gorilla (in reality this is Kira, a former prostitute from Brighton, who like the other mispers has been genetically modified) who manages to take a bite out of Elena. Taking sanctuary nearby, they encounter Dr Kafka (Heather Jackson), an addled scientist with a bloodstained lab coat and a messiah complex who seems to be the brains behind the experiments, and a gung ho group of solders. As the assembled cast get slowly picked off, Elena begins to fear that her bite might have infected her more seriously than first thought, when her thoughts turn to human lunch.

To be fair the Jeffrey/Matthews template, which remains remarkably consistent irrespective of the person directing, has undergone some massive improvements since the early days of their filmmaking (that would be 2020 then). There are now sufficient narrative left and right turns to keep things interesting, the wandering around in corridors element has sensibly been reduced, and the Kira creature is a reasonably good looking bit of CGI although the budget doesn't yet stretch to interaction with the human cast (it does however provide for some improved locations). On the downside there is still a persistence in requiring some of the cast to adopt variously successful US accents (Cohen is, as ever, the most convincing) and there are still some draggy bits even despite a 75 minute run time.

Are We Monsters (UK 2022: Dir Seb Cox) A lycanthropy movie with a difference; don't come looking for shaggy coats and dripping fangs here! In fact, don't come expecting a werewolf flick in any of the usual senses of the term. 

Everett (John Black) and Connor (Stefan Chanyeam) are brothers, the last of a long line of werewolf hunters, now operating under their own auspices having watched their father die at the, well, hands of a strange entity, whose rubbery torso and extended neck (and lack of hair) mark it out as no wolfman - or woman - you've ever seen before.

With only two of the original silver bullets left, the pair are considering their position, when they encounter Maya (Charlotte Olivia) and her awkward friend Luke (Jathis Sivanesan) while on patrol. Maya realises that there is something wrong with her and that she has monthly 'urges'. Sickly Luke definitely has something wrong with him, although his condition is more identifiable; Maya hopes that her friend's knowledge of folklore will aid her understanding. But an uneasy non alliance with the wolf hunting brothers bizarrely provides her with the information she requires; Everett even feels protective towards her, but Connor reminds him of the brothers' mission, and as the next full moon approaches allegiances and divisions among the four will be fully tested.

Aside from the sweary dialogue, this is a YA movie at heart, and heart is its chief selling point, As Maya Olivia is authentically awkward, and her early will-they-won't-they scenes with Luke have more than a ring of truth. The back story to the whole thing, told in fits and starts, is rendered in crude but effective animation; it's a technique also used to scrappy but keen effect at the movie's schismatic climax. Are We Monsters is low on budget but high on genuine feels; it may lope along (sorry) a bit but its heart is definitely in the right place, and as a coming of age allegory it's very effective.

Senseless (UK 2022: Dir Sam Mason-Bell) "You are nothing but dirt, and to dirt you will return". There really is no one out there in the UK making films quite like Sam Mason-Bell. One of eight (!) projects made and/or released in 2022, this one follows Home is Where I Lay and is similarly claustrophobic and possibly autobiographical.

Best seen as a journey into a form of hell from which redemption is eventually but uneasily attained, nothing much, and yet everything, happens in Senseless. Jason (Ryan Carter) is a tortured soul; when we first meet him, he is, like Dante in his 'Inferno', lost and wandering alone into a dense forest with nothing to his name apart from the clothes on his back and a box of roll ups. 

Through fractured voices echoing in his head we know that he has separated from his partner Diane (Ella Palmer) who rains down hateful abuse about Jason's worth and value to her and society generally; it's "like a stench has gone" as she describes life without him. Later on there's a suggestion that Diane may have died at Jason's hand. As he progresses, again Dante like, he meets ghosts and shadows that taunt him but who also warn him to go back; voices he ignores as he pushes on. The assailants become more physical and, as the film enters into abstraction, Jason is literally pulled part (a simple but effective piece of animation) before his eventual reconciliation at the end of the night.

Mason-Bell's film puzzles, bores and excites in kind of equal amounts; it's carried by a beautiful score by Craigus Barry (one of the most talented people working in British independent film today) which picks up and drops musical styles, perhaps echoing Jason's fractured soul. Impressively edited, Senseless is really something out of nothing, but in Mason-Bell's hands becomes an enigmatic and powerful piece.

NEW WAVE OF THE BRITISH FANTASTIC FILM 2023 #2 - FrightFest special: Reviews of Werewolf Santa (UK 2023), Lore (UK 2023), The Glenarma Tapes (UK 2023), Haunted Ulster Live (UK 2023), To Fire You Come at Last (UK 2023) and Hostile Dimensions (UK 2023)

Werewolf Santa (UK 2023: Dir Airell Anthony Hayles) Indie Brit directors seem to love making horror comedy films about werewolves. Maybe it’s the country’s love of our furry friends, or possibly the essential melancholy of the creature with the ability to send up some of the population’s anachronisms. A more likely reason is that you can get away with a lot for not much if you make a movie featuring someone wearing a werewolf mask.

Anyway in this one we’re introduced to Lucy Gray (Katherine Rodden), host of the globetrotting ‘Monster Hunters’ YouTube show, who has been slowly using up all her money searching for thus far non-existent creatures. On her uppers, she returns to Hastings to stay with her mum, Carol (Emily Booth; and if Ms Booth is now being cast in ‘mother’ roles I must be getting old). Accompanying her is trusty cameraperson and fuckbuddy Dustin (Charlie Preston).

As mentioned in the prologue, Lucy could have saved her money and stayed in Blighty, as cave dwelling werewolves have been active in the area since at least the end of the 18th Century; and guess what, they’re still around today. While out filming in the woods on Christmas Eve, also accompanied by Lucy’s old friend, monster expert Rupert (Cian Lorcan), they come across Santa Claus, having a waz break during the annual delivery of presents.

But disaster strikes when Santa is bitten by a werewolf while in his vulnerable state, and it’s not long before he becomes WereSanta. Not only are the residents of Hastings now in danger, but it looks unlikely that anyone’s going to get their presents. The only solution is to take out the head werewolf that started the infestation in the first place, to restore all the bitten to their former selves.

Director Airell Anthony Hayles was heavily involved as co-writer and director of last years’ excellent and rather slick portmanteau movie Midnight Peepshow. But Werewolf Santa rather echoes the scrappiness of his previous feature 2020’s They’re Outside. This isn’t a criticism, more an observation on style. Like TO before it, WS adopts the found footage approach as befitting Gray’s role, and tells its story in decidedly (excuse the slight pun) shaggy dog style, including crap seaside ghost trains, bickering families and a werewolf attack in a known dogging spot.

Booth, Rodden, Preston and Lorcan make a reasonably fun group to spend an hour or so with, and Hayles at least tries to conjure up a seasonal atmosphere, even roping in genre legend Joe Bob Briggs to voice an animated version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (although I’m not sure why). Apparently this is the first of a planned Christmas themed three movie horror cycle, and while Hayles is by no means the most polished director working in the genre at the moment, I quite like his have a go movies, soapsud snowflakes and all.

Lore (UK 2023: Dir James Bushe, Patrick Michael Ryder, Greig Johnson) The rise in short film making has seen a similar increase in ‘portmanteau’ films, many of which settle on gathering, often randomly, a set of premade shorts and knitting them together with a link story which sadly is often little more than an afterthought. Which is why it's such a delight that Lore, although also a portmanteau film, comprises short tales scripted and filmed specifically for, and as part of this feature.

Four intrepid thrill seekers (Miles Mitchell, Dean Bone, Sally Collett and Samantha Neale) head out to the country in search of an advertised ‘once in a lifetime’ immersive experience which turns out to be just them, their tents and an organiser named Darwin (Richard Brake, Barbarian). The camping area, they are told, was the site of a mass grave and the location of an ancient evil, and the four are encouraged to each tell a story as a means of establishing contact with the forces in the soil.

The four tales, two straight, two comedic, owe a consistency of look and feel to being lensed by the same photographer, Scott Coulter, which makes the veritable cinematic silk purse out of what is probably a very low budget. In ‘Shadows’ a guy fleeing from a gang demanding money ends up in a disused warehouse, empty save for a skulking monster; in ‘The Hidden Woman’ a mother and her young son take on more than they bargained for when they settle in to their late relative’s house; ‘Cross Your Heart’ has an obnoxious husband setting up a swingers party, the outcome of which he would never have predicted; and in ‘The Key Chain Man’ a disgruntled cinema employee embarks on a orgy of violence at a sparsely attended midnight screening.

Directors Patrick, Ryder and Johnson know the ‘lore’ (sorry) of the portmanteau film; keep it light, keep it tight and keep it moving. Only ‘The Hidden Woman’ is genuinely creepy but all the segments are well put together, occasionally gory (the first and last stories) and, importantly, don’t outstay their welcome. The link story is a little messy but the end coda, suggesting that story telling is a never ending process, works well. Good stuff.

The Glenarma Tapes (UK 2023: Dir Tony Devlin) It may be nearly 25 years since the release of The Blair Witch Project, but here's Northern Irish director Tony Devlin to show that there's some life in the found footage genre yet.

Friends Gordy, or Gordon to his teachers (Warren McCook) and Jimmy (Rían Early) are students at Mid Ulster College of Art. Jimmy is filming a 'fly on the wall' project following Gordy around. The latter is both flattered and annoyed by the attention; he's a principled soul who's happy to slap a classmate for badmouthing a fellow student, and has a troubled home life. But he's intelligent enough to read his domestic situation into a class about 'Romeo and Juliet', much to the surprise of his teacher, Miss Mallon (Collette Lennon Dougal); he also has a star cross'd thing with fellow classmate Eleanor (Sophie Hill). 

When Jimmy films a secret conversation between Mallon and newly married teacher Mr Holmes (Declan Rodgers) in which they arrange a clandestine assignation in the nearby (ish) Glenarma woods, the students, along with Eleanor's friend, prickly Clare (Emily Lamey) decide to tag along and film the secret get together for shits and giggles and the potentially lucrative power of a sex tape.

Rather unprepared for the whole venture, the four make it to the woods via a bus and some stolen pushbikes but realise as soon as they get there that a) the forest is vast and b) there is no obvious way back. But forging on they eventually come across the errant teachers; but not in a setup they could ever have foreseen.

Filmmaking technology has improved tremendously since the days of trying to locate the Blair Witch, and Devlin exploits this by providing a range of filming techniques - GoPro headcam, 4K etc - that makes The Glenarma Tapes look infinitely better than many of its found footage predecessors. Event wise though, the film follows the FF template - establish characters, introduce the setup, have the cast get lost and then let the night time shenanigans begin - although Devlin mixes it up by having the whole thing go a bit Kill List and then adding a survivor coda which sort of kills the film's 'reality' buzz. It's way more watchable than 90% of this type of film though, and the forest looks authentically dangerous. 

Haunted Ulster Live (UK 2023: Dir Dominic O'Neill) There’s an old saying that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and Dominic O’Neill’s debut feature is a fine example of this; an homage to/update of BBC TV’s 1992 production Ghostwatch, with events transposed from north London to Northern Ireland.

We join a film crew as they set up a live broadcast for Northern Ireland Television on 31st October 1998 (six years to the day after the events in Ghostwatch). Hosts Gerry Burns and Michelle Kelly (Mark Claney and Aimee Richardson, taking on the Michael Parkinson and Sarah Greene roles respectively, and both excellent) are broadcasting from a reputedly haunted house in the north of Belfast, where a series of mysterious incidents have been terrorising the property’s occupants, the McKillen family.

Meanwhile up in the McKillen’s attic local radio personality DJ Declan (Dan Leith, playing the Craig Charles lovable geezer role) is spinning the tunes and raising money for Irish victim support via a phone in (the events are set just after the signing of the Good Friday Agreement and references to ‘the troubles’ echo throughout the ‘programme’).

Things play out much as they did in the 1992 classic: the story of the house – containing a notorious spirit - is gradually unveiled via a pair of psychics and members of the local community who gather outside; mysterious events begin to occur inside and there’s the usual VT playback to analyse them; and the McKillen’s daughter Rose (Libby McBride) eventually becomes the locus of supernatural activity.

There’s nothing as creepy as Ghostwatch happening here, but what is interesting, and not seen in the BBC production, are the ‘off camera’ moments when the presenters show their true disdain for the production, the family, and even the producer who is about to pull the curtain down on the whole thing, until increasing viewer numbers require that he keep the feed open.

Of course a long time has passed since 1993, and the world is considerably more culturally ‘hauntological’ than it used to be. Thus we have a very Ghostbox inspired degraded look for the footage and titles, some timey wimey subject matter and a soundtrack (by the director) that’s very au courant. But I liked this a lot and run wise it knows not to outstay its welcome.

To Fire You Come at Last (UK 2023: Dir Sean Hogan) Hogan is perhaps better known as an author than filmmaker, and as such it's unsurprising that, like his previous movie, 2011's The Devil's Business, To Fire You Come at Last is a decidedly talky affair, full of the fruity idioms of the 17th Century, a la A Field in England.

Weighing in at a slight 45 minutes (perhaps no coincidence that it shares a similar running time with episodes of the infamous BBC 'Ghost Story for Christmas' TV plays, since it also shares similar narrative and thematic concerns) it's the story of four men, headed by the pompous Squire Marlow (Mark Carlisle), whose job it is to transport the coffin of his recently deceased son Aldis (Stephen Smith) through the woods to a safe resting place.

The others involved are Marlow's number 2 Master Holt (Harry Roebuck), Pike (Richard Rowden), a man charged with procuring assistance from trained hands, and finally the result of that pitiful search, the in his cups Ransley (James Swanton). As the four make their way across country bearing their awful burden, secrets divulged reveal dark connections between the men and the body in the coffin.

The skeletal setup (pun intended) of Hogan's movie means that its attraction is largely dependent on how much you like to hear a group of care worn men regale each other with discursive stories; the answer from this critic is 'very much indeed'. Paul Goodwin and Jim Hinson's crisp black and white photography frames the journey from day to night with maximum atmosphere while the men bicker and cajole endlessly (Wanton's character is particularly insidious, sounding incredibly like Coronation Street's Madge Hindle at times - ask your parents/guardians). When the spook arrives, just like those BBC adaptations, it's briefly glimpsed and all the more effective for it. To Fire You Come at Last may be little more than an extended short, but it's a very good one.

Hostile Dimensions (UK 2023: Dir Graham Hughes) Anyone who has seen Graham Hughes’s last feature, Death of a Vlogger, will attest to the director’s skill in deflecting audience awareness of working with a low budget by throwing lots of great ideas at us instead. And now Hughes is back doing exactly the same thing, although this time his topic is the multiverse, an increasingly popular theme in fantastic filmmaking.

Footage of the disappearance of a graffiti artist, Emily (Josie Rogers), via a propped up door in the middle of an abandoned building, comes to the attention of filmmakers Sam (Annabel Logan) and Ash (Joma West). Sam’s previous documentary, ‘Bear Market’, dealing with the capitalist treatment of the teddy bear business, had not been a success (“You do not know existential pain unless you’ve produced a film,” says the film maker). The disappearance of Emily, however, piques her interest, and after a brief tinfoilhatty chat with the weird guy who filmed the Emily footage, Brian (Stephen Beavis), before long Sam has ‘borrowed’ the door and installed it in the living room of her apartment with a view to constructing a new doc.

Aided by Dr Innis (Paddy Kondracki), whose scientific mind is alive to this sort of thing, Sam and Ash begin to experiment by filming voyages through the door, which turn out to be varied and surprising (such as a trip to a giant panda theme park complete with tentacled bear, and a strange country featuring pyramids and floating whales). But when a heavily bedraggled Emily emerges in one of the alternate worlds, pursued by a different Brian (Hughes), things start to get very weird indeed.

Whereas in his last film Hughes front and centred himself as the haunted vlogger, here the film is carried by Logan, a likeable actor (who was also in DoaV) whose interest and ambition nearly get the better of her. Hughes wisely keeps things buzzing (the multiverse idea, if edited effectively as is the case here, is a gift for those fantastic movie makers with slender budgets) and cleverly builds his action to an exciting climax. Hostile Dimensions might be a bit smoke and mirrors when you stand back and think about it, but it’s a fun way to spend an hour and a quarter nevertheless.

Herd (USA 2023: Dir Steven Pierce)

Pierce's astonishing debut feature - partly because it is his first full movie and also because it deftly folds the concerns of 21st century USA into an excellent zombie/infection flick - centres around a very human story.

Jamie (Ellen Adair) and her wife Alex (Mitzi Akaha) are going through some tough times. As well as the ongoing estrangement from Jamie's family because of her being gay (particularly her father Robert, who has violently ostracised her from the family) - in contrast to Alex's more comfortable 'fuck 'em' approach - both have to contend with the recent loss of their daughter during childbirth. Memories of both these events flicker in and out of Jamie's memory during the film, a constant reminder of the pain which will be added to during the course of the movie.

Alex's suggestion of a get-away-from-it-all camping and canoeing trip is met warily by Jamie, particularly as the destination is perilously close to her father's town, but they leave the city anyway, ill advisedly as it turns out; a viral outbreak is spreading through the population - emanating from the southern States seemingly - turning the infected into rampant zombies. To the city dwellers the threat seems slight and faraway: but after a boat accident, in which Alex sustains serious wounds, has them picked up by a group of men and returned to a base camp established in preparation for zombie attack, the pair realise the danger is real and very imminent.

Herd's power lies in the fact that the threat of the infected is equal to that of the organised, self elected bodies of men (and make no mistake, the men are in charge here) who have assembled ranks to deal both with the zombies and the frighteningly organised, uniformed 'rednecks' who are exploiting the chaos for their own purposes. That this scenario could exist at all is frightening in its own right; that these groups arrive almost pre-formed is sharp political comment; constant mentions of being 'proud' are not lost on us.

The irony of Jamie and Alex's situation is that not only are they under the protection of a group of people who would clearly have a massive problem with the pair being a couple (a fact they must keep secret), but the location to which they are taken is Jamie's father's facility; she has been delivered straight back into the place from which she originally managed to escape. We do not need to see her father - who, Kurtz like, remains behind closed doors - to understand the prejudice and potential violence simmering within a community where gun ownership is sacrosanct, and even 10 year old boys are expectedly to confidently bear arms.

Through it all Adair and Ahaka are tremendous as the couple under duress. Pierce establishes a very real and believable world into which the pair must battle to stay alive and preserve the love between them. The director may deliver a redemptive ending, but it's also one that carries more than a bittersweet note. Brilliant.

Herd played at London's FrightFest on Saturday 26 August 2023.

Here for Blood (Canada 2022: Dir Daniel Turres)

Facing the prospect of a looming exam, student Phoebe (Joelle Farrow) decides to foist her forthcoming lucrative babysitting gig onto her boyfriend Tom (Shawn Roberts) so she can cram. A reluctant Tom agrees. The charge he's sitting for is little Grace (Maya Misaljevic) who lives with her parents in a creepy house on the edge of town.

But when Tom and Grace are left alone after Grace's parents depart for the evening, the house comes under siege from a group of demon worshipping miscreants aiming to kidnap the little girl as part of an elaborate ritual. Tom and Grace, plus Phoebe and some friends who arrive at the house later, must do battle with the gang to save themselves and prevent a looming apocalypse.

I have deliberately written the above without disclosing that Here for Blood is actually a wild, violent and frequently hilarious horror comedy. Think the wild ride of Chelsea Stardust's 2019 movie Satanic Panic crossed with a bloodier episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Plus point number one is the casting of Roberts as the nice but dim beefcake boyfriend Tom. In real life Roberts is, for those who don't know - and ok that included me - a professional wrestler, and director Turres makes great use of his physique and grappling skills in the scenes where he duffs up the bad guys; there's also a nod to those Schwarzenegger movies where Arnie acts against cute little kids in a setup where the burly Tom has to interact with the diminutive Grace. Misaljevic is excellent as the quick witted and resourceful moppet in peril, up against a bunch of hapless bad guys who really didn't plan for the armed response they receive when trying to snatch the little girl. And finally; the violence. This ain't subtle stuff, but once it gets going faces get toasted on hot plates, heads are pulled off, throats are slashed...well you get the idea. Oh and did I mention that bloody demanding disembodied head voiced by Dee Snider from the band 'Twisted Sister'? Here for Blood is largely a comedy of incident rather than script (although there are a few sotto voce moments that made me laugh) but its gore soaked home alone horror, which shifts to an agreeably supernatural level about half way through, never lets up. It's a little overlong but I'll forgive that for the overall exuberance of direction and the fine cast's willingness to give themselves heart and soul (literally on occasion) to the project. 

Here for Blood screened at London's FrightFest on 25 August 2023.