With the exception of 2022 - which was a very bad year - I've produced a Christmas fright flick special every year since 2018. You have to dig pretty hard these days for seasonal horror movies, and one of these dates back to 2023, but here's 5 films (I know, it's normally 6 but pickings are not rich) I haven't covered before (I was going to include Damien Leone's Terrifier 3 but it's clearly way too big budget to be included here, and isn't really my thing either).
Three undesirables, Tess (Taylor Kilgore), Will (Chris Ivan) and Brent (Bryant Smith) abduct and kill people, organ farming the corpses across the world, none of which of course is shown. As they're deciding their next move, a young girl, Mya (Destiny Salas) ties them up, incapacitates them and tells them three seasonal stories (visualised in the telling) in which various people fail to be good and end up at the mercy of a 12 inch tall elf, a Gingerbread Man called Gingie (Johnny Perotti) and Jack Frost (Anthony Avery).
Each of these three have their own role to play in the art of body harvesting, as all of the people in the stories, plus the three original miscreants, end up in limbo, awaiting the judgement of Krampus (William Suave) who decides which of the damned will end up on the naughty list.
Cheap, not very cheerful and more than a bit bonkers, the moralistic nature of this thing suggested it might be a faith based movie. But no, Lujan is just a micro budget filmmaker who divides his time between features and music promos. He's the kind of guy whose IMDb profile lists no less than 6 upcoming projects and you pretty much know they'll all happen. I actually quite liked 'Twas the Night (particularly the crudely brought to life Elfie, voiced by Ivan), but I suspect I'm in the minority.
Not so with the mean Naughty List. Skye Coyne plays Tabby, a photographer, who's invited to a class reunion/Christmas get together by one of her former schoolmates, Chandler (Liz Fenning), also dragging along cynical boyfriend Jonny (Colin Koth). Any reticence on Tabby's part is understandable; back in college her boyfriend at the time, Glen, a troubled soul, fell off a roof and died, just about the time that a theatre production of 'A Christmas Carol' was about to open.
Once arrived at Chandler's large mansion, they're greeted by monosyllabic servant and clear red herring Marty (Benedikt Sebastian), together with other members of the sorority, namely Tucker (Adam Bucci), Julian (Ali Zahiri) and Kelsey (Kim Whalen). Missing is Franny (Coel Mahal), who everyone assumes is being flaky; but we've already seen her attacked (and beheaded) by a killer wearing a Scrooge outfit.
At the obligatory Secret Santa present exchange the original gifts have been mysteriously swapped out for mean ones with gifts and messages which tie them back, uncomfortably, to their college years, and the ever present memory of dead Glen. And it's not long before the Scrooge dressed killer has returned to despatch the party guests, all of whom are linked in some way to their dead classmate.
What makes TNLoMS, despite its silly title, such a delight is a really good cast and its unashamed borrowing of all the elements of slashers and whodunnits. It's got a sassy, sometimes very funny script and the story is solid; there's a great sense of Christmas about the whole thing too. Definitely worth checking out.
Four years later and Burden's second Christmas themed horror movie is upon us (although the whole Christmas thing is levered into the movie as a bit of an afterthought). Malik (Taylor Latham) and his girlfriend Jada (Sabine Gavilov) are in trouble deep; in trying to help Jada's junkie sister, the pair have inherited a whole heap of debt owed to a gangland character called Silk (Chad Davis-Lenette). As the toughs close in there's just one chance; a weird elf-like doll, liberated from the gang, with a potentially hefty price tag. All Malik and Jada need to do is sell it to the right person.
The lucky recipient may be Evelyn (Kerry Walker); the doll's credentials are verified by Evelyn's friend, dark arts expert Dr Damian (Tiffanie Williams) who confirms that the doll is haunted by Juju, the ghost of a vengeful spirit who comes alive on Christmas Eve. And guess what night it is?
Exposure to any of Mr B's works will tell you that you're in for a real watch checking ride. This one does at least have some rather good practical gore effects, to compensate for the poorly CGI animated (barely) Juju. The doll's passage of terror is mildly diverting, but the same can't be written about the movie's 'leads'; for most of the cast EitH is their only listed credit. Pretty poor.
The American in this case is Californian Shayli Reagan. She plays Amber, one of a group of young people summoned to a country house (ok Airbnb rental) by a mysterious M. All of the young 'uns have received invitations suggesting a reunion of sorts offering "one last chance to make things right". You guessed it (if you hadn't already from the cheeky title borrowing), the group have a shared history, which involves the sticky end of one of their friends, Millie (Leona Clarke) in a prank gone wrong.
The other rather nondescript house occupants include Trey and sister Lila (Dan Robins and Julia Quayle, both adopting - or rather failing to adopt - American accents), You Tuber Erin (Katrina Todd) and goth lite Dax (Ashley Bedford), sporting a jumper that reads 'Winter is Coming'; 'coming' being the operative word in that, despite the Christmas decorations (and the presence of a murderous Santa) the whole thing looks like it was shot in midsummer.
Most of the movie comprises a lot of bickering until the body count starts rising, although most of the deaths are off screen save for a candy cane in the eyeball moment. This is pretty pointless stuff, cheap and uninspiring; oh and the end credit song runs out way before the actual credits. Producers Ms Warren and ever present Scott Jeffrey, take a bow.
No comments:
Post a Comment